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Predicament of the Week
In which Breakup Girl addresses the situation that has, this week, brought her the most (a) amusement, (b) relief that it is happening to someone else, and/or (c) proof that she could not possibly be making this stuff up.

Dear Breakup Girl,

Three days after I fell off my bike, smashed in my face and received 50 stitches, my boyfriend called me up to say "Life is a paradox" and we can't even be friends anymore. It might help to know he is divorced and had alot of baggage, but still things were pretty great up until then. You will be happy to know that I have not talked to him or anything since then, and my face looks great ( you can't tell I smashed it in), but I am just curious what you think of this, especially the phrase "life is a paradox." I don't even pretend to understand, but in an effort to maintain my dignity, I did not press the issue too much. Please give me your opinion on this; I would be eternally grateful!

-- Proud of my Battle Scars

Dear Proud,

Well, there's never an excellent time for a breakup. Still, "Visting Hours" are less than ideal. My guess? He may have either (a) thought "Well, things can't get any worse ... now's my chance!" or (b) well, to give him a bit more credit, if he was working up to the breakup in his mind, he did the deed when he did so that he would not have to uncomfortably/misleadingly fake his way through Florence Nightingaling your way to health. You know? I could see that.

And about the "paradox?" Well, dictionarily speaking, I guess he would mean something like "life is inexplicable and contradictory." Which is often sadly true of many breakups ("I love you/Goodbye."). So fair enough. But I also think that what he said has roughly the same meaning as Alanis Morrisette's "Isn't it Ironic?" As in: "Doesn't it ...suck?" Yes. But the way you handled it -- game face and all -- doesn't. Keep feeling better.

Love,
Breakup Girl

 
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