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Dear Breakup Girl,

My best friends are a married couple, Joe and Mary (not their real names). In December I went Christmas shopping once with each of them. Through conversations had over the course of the shopping trips, I now know that Joe doesn't want to have kids and thinks that he settled this long ago with Mary in a conversation where they both seemed to agree they didn't want kids. Mary informed me while we were lunching after shopping our hearts out that they're kind of trying to have a kid. Now, to me, trying implies unprotected sex. Do I warn Joe? Do I confirm with Mary exactly what she meant? Do I put my head into the sand and never, ever acknowledge that I know more than I should?

--Biker Grrl

Dear Biker Grrl,

Eeeeee! Either unprotected sex, or immaculate conception. Oh, wait, "not their real names." Anyway, on the one hand, this is none of your business. On the other, eeeeee! I guess maybe confirming with Mary is your best bet, because the other way around is more like tattling. And it's easy to say that the kid thing "kinda came up randomly" in the context of holiday shopping, right? But here's the hitch: even if Mary admits to something, I still feel like you can't go and tell Joe. The most you could do is advise her that that kind of surprise is unwise. Especially if -- just in case -- you want to have any prayer of being the godmother.

Love,
Breakup Girl

PS: Any other thoughts, o fine Shouter Outers?

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