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| Wedding Season |
e-mail to a friend in need
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O CANADA! Big ups to our neighbors upstairs, who have already brought us the gloopy delight of poutine, the enduring mystery of curling, and William Shatner. And now: same-sex marriage. "The True North strong and free," indeed! Still, BG must admit that when she heard the news, a teeny, dark, evil part of her thought -- just for a teeny, dark, evil second -- "Oh, no. More weddings."
Oh -- and weddings can be tough if you are the couple. BG's bestest friend just got married. She is sure and happy and deeply in love; she and her husband's extended families are relatively non-insane. And as the date drew near, even she -- what with the pressure and logistics and details that almost but not quite make you forget that you're about to vow out loud at Tavern on the Freaking Green to spend your entire life with someone -- just wanted to crawl into a small padded bunker with Pop Tarts and Zima and wait for BG to bring her the new Harry Potter.
Here's a tip that will help all parties: don't have a shower. You want to throw an extra, smaller party for the bride and/or groom, by all means. Dress down for a picnic, wear hats for high tea; say "no gifts" on the invite. That is fun. Pushing macaroni salad around your plate while the bride emits equal squeals (no hurt feelings!) over Crate and Barrel colanders and embarrassing lingerie (hello, her great aunt is there!) -- that is less fun. No "single showers," either! (Apparently, three people have had them, so it is a trend.) Tacky, tacky, tacky. Yes, singles, I am on your side. No, it is not fair that only marrying couples are eligible for fabulous prizes. But don't you see? When you throw a Single Shower, you are throwing the party of the oppressor. You are single! Your single friends were counting on you not to have a shower! Have a swell birthday party -- even register for gifts (or direct guests to your Amazon wish list) for all I care -- just no SHOWERshowers with macaroni and teddies, unless you are being deliberately over-the-top campy and queeny and ironic. That is fun.
(A word on gift registries: YES. Let's not get all sanctimonious and Thoreau here. Your registering -- for whatever larger occasion -- is a service to your guests. If it makes you feel better, you may also suggest that your guests give to a suggested charity in lieu of Pottery Barn. But given that we live in a gift-giving culture, registering is not greedy or materialistic -- it's sensible, efficient, environmentally responsible: no one wastes money or space on stuff no one wants. Specifically, I can't say this enough: We all have enough candles.) So when the next invite arrives, along with that careening Viennese Table of worries -- What will I wear (on my ring finger)? Should I marry my partner? What partner? Do I even have to go? -- remember: you are totally allowed to do what feels good and okay and right for you. But know that thing may not be what you think it is at first. Give it some time; mull over the big picture. Because, after careful thought, and quite a bit of cake, here's where BG stands: I may brush a tear from my eye on the way home, but I won't not go 'cause I don' t feel like dealing. The day I can't raise a glass to my friends' joy, the day I don't get caught up in a really good hava nagila -- that is the day I might as well move to Moosehide. So go if you can, find your own fun, pick up the foxtrot, look like a trillion bucks. Get through it, and you'll be glad you did. Also, if you attend a reeeeaaaaally tacky wedding, please give me the deets (no names). That is fun. All of that said, you are officially excused from "Hot! Hot! Hot!" Love,
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