I am the only superhero whose domain is love -- or lack thereof -- and who mends broken hearts worldwide with the help of the worldwide Web. My job is to fight crimes of the heart, stop dating indignities, get your stuff back, help you help your mom through your breakup, make good relationships great ... all the while trying to make time to have romantic problems of my own, if you know what I mean.

Why a superhero who saves love lives? Well, it wasn't my idea at first. But think about it. Natural disasters, criminal masterminds, and global conspiracies have their own superheroes. Why not a superhero for relationship issues? You know, natural disasters, criminal masterminds, and global conspiracies.

Bending steel bars? That's power. But mending broken hearts? That's ... super.

Love's not just the fluff piece at the end of the news, you know. The bombs may drop, the floods may come, but we are rarely a moment away from saying, "Did he call?" "Will she say yes?" "What should I wear to the superpower summit?" I believe that we can all make our breakups, and thus our relationships, and thus our bad selves — and thus the planet — better places.

My superpowers allow me not only to hear heartbreak, but also to find the rueful humor therein. This enterprise is not bitter.com, datingsucks.com, or i’lldiealoneandchildless.com. Rather, breakupgirl.net gives you a warm, witty place to go where you feel not only that you’re not alone, but also, more importantly, that you're not a big loser. I'll give you help when you need it, and a good laugh anytime you come by. I promise to be as thoughtful and fun as the relationships I’d like you to have.

Everyone is welcome here, even couples, no matter how cute you two are. Breakup Girl serves:

• Both sexes. Breakup Girl is an equal-opportunity superhero. I’m a girl because I was born that way, not because I take gender-based sides. Wouldn't that kinda defeat the purpose? It's treaty time in the "gender wars;" I believe that we can all get along. In certain combinations, maybe for only three months at a time, but still.
   
• All ages. Teen love is different from grownup love mainly in that teens are more likely to measure their relationships in lunch periods, and adults are less likely to use Scotch tape on their walls. Teens are wise beyond their years; grownups play house and buy Hello, Kitty. Let's learn from each other.
   
• All sexual preferences. Gay, straight, curious, tri — no matter what our lifestyle choices, we all manage to achieve our shared goal of freaking out our parents.
   
• All phases of attachment. People often write, "Dear Breakup Girl, I wish I’d had a breakup because that would mean I’d had a relationship." Sure, but the goal here is not to Get a Relationship. If you think that once you do, your work is done, you’ve got another think coming. (Like, "I think we need to talk.") The goal is to have a healthy relationship — especially with that hottie named Numero Uno. You know, you. Because Numeros Dos, Tres, et. al. are icing. Gravy. Hot chipotle mayo on your sweet potato fries. Not essential, but ... yum.

Enjoy your visit and come back often ... between your own adventures in the Real Life you love, with or without a bonus lover. I'll be here. Though I should probably get out more, too.