It’s a stretch on March 2, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl,

I have a crush on my yoga teacher — how can I get his attention? I don’t ask guys out as a rule, so that’s out. I’ve been smiling at him and saying hello. Oddly, this technique has always worked. He has given me a funny face twice. What could that possibly mean? Thanks Breakup Girl, you give me strength!

— Jeni

Dear Jeni,

Is it Breakup Girl that gives you strength, or the fact that you’ve been going to Yoga nine times a week? Anyway, as weird as this is going to sound, the way to get his attention just might be to start taking someone else’s class that meets at the same time. I am not recommending that you play some sort of hard-to-get game. It’s just that your teacher’s “funny” expression is probably an ancient Sanskrit facial posture meaning “I’d love to take you out for some soy milk, but I don’t date my students.”

Love,
Breakup Girl

Trying to deal on March 2, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl,

I can’t get away from the feeling that all men are scum after a recent experience, and yet I find myself still thinking about the man concerned. What will snap me out of it other than another man? Should I start Yoga or something?

— D.P.O.W.

Dear D.P.O.W.,

The popularity of Yoga has indeed been blamed for the niceification of New York City. So yeah, it might take the edge off. And if you’re anything like Jeni (above), you might meet someone there.

But let me caution you about something else: no one gets away with the “men are scum” thing here at breakupgirl.net. If you can’t live with ’em, then live without ’em. Everyone get this straight: BREAKUPS ARE PIGS.

Love,
Breakup Girl