Unsettled on October 26, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl,

I have been widowed 14 years and have been seeing this widow for 12 , yes, 12 years. At first it was great and we have had great times, but over the years I always felt that my needs were not met and she finds it difficult to talk things out. I’ve made my needs known and quite a few times she would try to change and would for a while, but would then go back to being unaffectionate and not thinking about me and not doing all the nice things I do to her and for her. She cannot share her thoughts and feelings and I never know what is on her mind. If we have a disagreement she puts her head in the sand and thinks it goes away. If I go on a trip I bring her back a little something. The times she’s gone away, she didn’t think enough of me to bring a little something, even like a rock or some dried flowers from where she was. I have had to beg her for any little kindness or consideration, which she has come to expect from me and which she does get.

I made out a form and asked her to share herself by filling it out. It had 4 parts:

#1 What can I expect from this relationship?

#2 What do I get from this relationship?

#3 What can I do to make this a better relationship?

#4 What can my partner do to make this a better relationship?

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