Moving fast on December 14, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl,

I am currently in a relationship with a really nice guy. I told him initially that I just wanted to be friends, but he insisted that I give him a chance. I did and we are really great friends and lovers, the problem is that he lives in DC and I live in NY. He wants me to quit my job and move in with him. I love my job and I do not want to give up my job or my life for anyone. I am at the height of my career and feel that there should be some compromise on the part of both people, not just one person.

He says he agrees, but gives me this sorry excuse that he can’t move to NY. He is now talking about getting married and taking a vacation together this Christmas. He introduced me to his family, which I was not ready for at all. I have only known him for 3 months and I have expressed that I think he is moving way too fast. I have been thinking about breaking up with him, but he will not take no for an answer. I also don’t want to be rude and hurt his feelings and risk losing a great friend; but, he’s at the point where he is entirely too overbearing and pushy. Please advise.

— ATP

BG’s advice after the jump!

Stuck in the middle on June 29, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl,

Here’s the scenario. “Harry” and “Sally” are longtime friends in uncannily similar lines of work. Harry, who’s oozing unrequited smooches for Sally from every pore, finally busts a move just as Sally leaves for a job abroad for several months. She decides this is plausible, goes along, and they long distance it quite happily for awhile. Then they spend the summer working together, are actually in the same place, and Sally gets the wiggins. They travel through Europe together, on a Eurailpass to emotional hell, and eventually Sally pulls the plug. This being the real world, Harry’s seriously bruised–not the Billy Crystal kind of cutesy angst that ends in a charming speech that woos her back. Rather, they avoid each other for the better part of the year, then slowly start becoming friends again. But Harry, underneath the bruises, still oozes. (Vile, I know, but you know what I mean.) He’s a man of infinite braveness, so he starts blurring the ol’ friendship lines. Sally’s not sure what to do: she’s spooked about ending up alone, Harry is indisputably a great guy, and on paper it should be perfect. Yet: wiggins, which sometimes lift when she just enjoys hanging out with Harry, or sometimes return when she gets critical for him or starry-eyed for some perfect Mr. Right who’ll make her melt. Sally’s now out of town for the summer, there’s still no resolution, and Harry’s still twisting in the wind. AND…I’m the one whom Sally calls for a shoulder to be confused on. What do you think she should do, and how, as a friend, might I effectively help guide her in that direction?

— ABC

BG gives advice to the advice-giver after the jump!

Misery loves company on January 19, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl,

I think I just read a letter to you from my (now) ex…I guess I got my answer! (See “John”.) Yes, I’m the vacation girl (I think). I’m still not sure if that message was written by my (ex) guy, but the name and details are right, and anyway, it totally applies to our situation. From this end, life is tough. but I guess it’s better to have it out and have it over than to keep it all inside.

Anyway, me and my (now) ex are still planning to go away together. I asked for advice on the discussion board and someone suggested that I sell my ticket to one of his friends, but we’re staying with my uncle so that’s not really practical. But I did ask him if he would rather not go, but he’s totally excited about it and I suspect we’ll have a really good time as friends if only I can remain sensible.

(more…)

An easy one from January 9, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl,
What do you do if you have a vacation planned with your significant other but you want to break up with her?
–John

Dear John,
Few things are less romantic than a romantic vacation with someone who’s planning to dump you. Do the deed; take a buddy.
Love,
Breakup Girl