A bit confused on August 17, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl,

I broke up with my last girlfriend a little over a year ago, and haven’t had any kind of satisfactory relationship since then. I’ve dated one girl four times but have not have not been intimate with anyone. My last relationship ended badly from my perspective from a lack of sensitivity about my needs and feelings; she would say we didn’t have sex often enough.

Since the breakup my attitude has been good, but because of a couple of rejections since then, and my last relationship ending badly I have been feeling a strong sense of alienation from the opposite sex and have had a harder time approaching new women. I have as of late started to question my sexual orientation and have been looking at pictures of transvestite/transexual girls on the net. My question is could these feelings be caused by rejection by women in the hopes that a trans-gendered female would understand my feelings and needs better? Or am I gay and have been suppressing those feelings for 42 years? I have always beeen attracted to a smaller percentage of women compared to the “normal man” and do not usually feel sexually aroused unless there is an emotional attachment also. (I am not turned on by men at all.) Should I explore these new feelings?

— Confused

BG’s advice after the jump!

Clothes make the man on June 1, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl,

I’ll keep this brief…or should I say bikini? I have been married for almost nine years and have two wonderful children with my husband. [Two years ago] I found out through a snoopfest that my husband is a transvestite…and has been acting out his behavior for 25 years. It floored me and freaked me out. I had the usual questions such as: did I do this to him? Is he gay? Has he been wearing my stuff? We have remained married thought I have offered separation and divorce twice since learning of his fetish. We have not had sex in two years and it is getting hard to resist the urge to find someone else to have a relationship with. He says he can control it and won’t do it anymore … I doubt him. Our sex life prior to the discovery was infrequent at best…i.e. three to four times a year. He has since explained that this is because his fetish is such a sexual stimulant to for him. I love him for the person he is…but can’t yet accept the fetish and fear I am going to “die on the vine.” How long should I wait to possibly feel something for him again? Should I leave him and give myself credit for trying for the last two years …I am not in love with him or even attracted to him anymore…or is it my problem and I should live with it?

— WonderWear

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