Really, Kara DioGuardi? Really?

You’re not exactly Springsteen, but anyone who could pen “Ain’t No Other Man” could at least come up with something NOT worse than “Inside Your Heaven.” Or so you’d think.

Mainly, though, we need to discuss the title of this year’s Idol Single ™. “No Boundaries.” I do not think that means what you think it means. Someone with “no boundaries” is not someone with no limits on what he/she can achieve. Someone with no boundaries is someone who overshares on a first date. Someone made of TMI. Someone who says “I know we’ve just met, but could you drive me to the airport?” or, “So how often do you and your wife have sex?” or “Oh, crap. Can I borrow your underwear?” — standing, all the while, just a little too close. So for Idol coronation anthems that double as love songs, we’ll take “A Moment Like This,” and leave it at that.

Once upon a time, BG had a perfectly magical date with a then-obscure movie star who, as it turned out, was apparently on a different date at the time. One of the fun parts of the story (and its two-years-later coda) is this: the friends who set us up had told me way too much about him. I knew his hobbies, his college major, his newborn niece’s infelicitous name. The challenge for me, then, was to react to his biographical information as if it were news (“Econ, huh? So then how’d you get into acting?”) and to not ask questions about things I wasn’t supposed to know yet (“How’s your niece? I mean — how’s Nice? In the summer? Ever been?”) I met this challenge, thankyouverymuch, but it required a mighty effort. And nohedidn’tcallwhateverthat’snotthepoint.

The point is: that was before Google.

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