This has gotta be one of the best examples of art imitating life we’ve ever seen: Ships That Pass is, to use the site’s own verbiage, “a collection of fake, imaginary and literary missed connections posted to Craigslist and then re-posted here [at Ships That Pass’ Tumblr page] with real responses.” The brainchild of Brooklyn-based poet Brett Fletcher Lauer (who’s written an awesome guest post about the endeavor here), it’s what an online performance-art installation commissioned by Margaret Mead might look like. Or a post-millennial, dot-com remake of those Griffin & Sabine pop-up-ish epistolary epics of my romantically angst-addled adolescence. (Anybody else remember those?) [YES!!!! Sob! — BG]

Here’s how it works: Myriad poets, writers and artists craft ersatz missed-connection posts, complete with the fictitious posters’ ages and the appropriate tag (m4w, w4m, m4m, w4w). These are uploaded to Craigslist as any real missed-connection missive would be; simultaneously, they appear on Ships That Pass. Should any unsuspecting Craigslist readers reply to the post, those emails are readable on Ships That Pass as follow-ups to the original. On the flip side, should a suspicious Craigslister flag a post for removal — as has happened a handful already — news of that post’s untimely demise is likewise reported. A missed connection that receives no action at all (overwhelmingly the case) is earmarked with a little sad face like the Zoloft mascot, informing Ships That Pass readers of “Another Missed Connection Missed.”

As anyone who’s read missed connections for sport knows, it’s the unknowable of “But did Girl with Nose Ring Wearing Military Jacket ever hear from Guy Reading The Tender Bar on the Uptown 2 Train?” that feeds their addictiveness. That, and the messages’ unbridled sentimentality. Whereas Craigslist’s other alt-personals, Casual Encounters and Misc. Romance, can depress the hell out of anyone hoping for a shred of flirtation, intrigue, chivalry or grammar to hang onto, Missed Connections is a bastion of well-intentioned, intelligently penned, old-fashioned courtship. One’s for nutjobs; the other’s for l’amour fou.

Enjoying the newly-habit-forming element of “Is it live or is it Ships That Pass?” probably won’t bode well for anyone’s to-do list. And then there’s the question of whether Missed Connectioning under false pretenses is ultimately setting up a stranger for disappointment. Judging by the responses so far, though, it seems that what drives people to reply isn’t the expectation that they’ve been identified/fancied/remembered. It’s their complicit understanding that the heart wants what it wants, and their immutable belief in art for art’s sake.

Getting nothing Donne on April 6, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl,

This isn’t a breakup question. It’s a get together question, but you handle tough relationship questions so well that I know you’ll do me right. I am in a sensitive situation (at least it seems that way to me), and I am so busy thinking about the right thing to do that I can’t seem to do anything.

I am slowly going crazy for a younger woman who I supervise at work. She is beautiful, sweet, interesting, motivated, and very captivating to me. I think that the energy is there working both ways, but how do you know for sure without testing it? She meets my gaze so direct with quivering eyes, she does nice little things for me she doesn’t have to do, and she even gave me a little hand-written, contemplative poem recently. The thing is that she is very nice with everyone, and in my position, the last thing I want is a harassment situation at work. Even more, I don’t want to come on to her and end up making work a difficult place for her to be.

My friends give me different advice. Two think that this could be a real good thing if it would work out the way it feels for me, so I should do whatever is necessary to find out. Another thinks that I have a responsibility in my position to keep “hands off” regardless.

Am I roping myself up too tightly? Where is the right place for a guy to draw a line for himself?

— Jeremy

(more…)

haiku contest’s back
this year you can rate them too
zen holiday fun

Click here to read, rate and write haiku!

This can be a stressful week. Single people worried they will die alone. Couples worried they will die alone if they do the wrong thing on Valentine’s Day. Here at BGHQ we try to be zen about it — or as close to zen as we can get while still stressed out: we write HAIKUS! In honor of our past Valentine’s Haiku Contests, we’re opening up a post for readers to submit their best relationship-themed haikus in the comments! To illustrate the 5-7-5 syllable scheme, here’s one of our faves:

Am I over her?
Why, did she ask about me?
Hey wait, come back here!
–Brian Thomas

alone like the oak.
think I’ll make a haiku thread
on v-day. then leaf.

It’s a zen poetry slam! Simply post your own haiku in the comments. Syllables go 5-7-5. Need some inspiration? Check out our Valentines Haiku Contests of years past.