Chasing perfection on November 2, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl,

HELP ME! I have been in love with…let’s call him “Jeff”…for ALL OF MY LIFE! Okay…just six years of my life. We attend the same church, but just this fall he moved to Indiana to go to college. He’s soooo fine…and sooo smart….and sooo dedicated to God (can’t find a guy like that just anywhere, can you?). Anyway, I’ve tried to keep my obsession secret, but the ENTIRE church KNOWS! Even his family! His mom and sister and grandmother all love me to death and even invite me to family functions…and to pick him up at the airport this weekend. *happy sigh* I didn’t go, though. *sad sigh* In the entire six years I’ve loved him, he has spoken to me…maybe 10 times. I know it sounds crazy…but I feel such a connection with him. Like we’re meant to be. Only he doesn’t know it…yet.

What should I do, Breakup Girl? No guy I know or could EVER know could be as wonderful, or kind, or compassionate, or PERFECT as Jeff. I compare everyone to him…and no one could ever take his place in my life. He is the MAIN object of my affection.

I know, I know…there is no hope whatsoever. The longest conversation I’ve ever had with him is when I asked him what he was bringing to a party. I also know he knows about my crush on him. It’s SO obvious. But today!!! GET THIS! HE WAVED AT ME! (Go me, go me…go Jeffy!)

Is this all so immature? I’m not some silly junior high girl. I’m a junior in high school for crying out loud! Do I just have some strange mental complex that makes my knees go weak just at the sight of Jeff?

(more…)

Ah, the eternal bachelor. The man who’ll never settle down, the man with many labels: “player,” “commitment-phobe,” “jerk!” — and now, according to new research, a big ole scaredy-cat. Turns out most bachelors out there aren’t necessarily afraid of marriage; they’re just afraid of a bad marriage.

Carl Weisman, a bachelor himself at 49 — and sick of being stereotyped for his status — set out to discover the reason why more and more eligible men are in their early 40s are choosing to stay single (reportedly up from 6 percent in 1980 to 17 percent today). The result: his new book, So Why Have You Never Been Married?: 10 Insights Into Why He Hasn’t Wed. “Men are 10 times more scared of marrying the wrong person than of never getting married at all,” Weisman told Reuters. “It’s so important to these men to get it right.” Yaaah, but isn’t seeking perfection — as some of the bachelors in his study claim they are — the, um, perfect way to remain a bachelor?