A “nice” kissoff from February 2, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl,

My boyfriend broke up with me because I was “too nice.” Do you think that this was the real reason, or just an excuse?

— Tu Nice

 
Dear Tu Nice,

Either (1) he has some sort of I’m Not Worthy issue that causes him to believe that he really only deserves to date the Linda Tripps of the world, or (2) it’s not so much an excuse as a default thing to say, a lite sugar-coating. Never mind the “too;” at least, either way, he thinks you’re nice — which, arguably, is better than thinking you’re Satan (or, worse, “terrific”). I realize neither he nor Breakup Girl has given you much to work with, but honestly, it’s not worth dwelling on. Mainly, I wanted to let guys know that WOMEN GET THE “TOO NICE” THING TOO. So there.

Love,
Breakup Girl

Virgin/merry from December 29, 1997…

Dear Breakup Girl,

This Christmas I’ve been naughty AND nice. Two problems plague this romantic heart. I’ve been “nice” and supportive of an internet friend for two years now, the shoulder and the punching bag through thick and thin and foggy. We’ve met, declared long distance love on the eve and morn of our virginity, and been hunky-dory up till the twelve days before Christmas. But now the stuffing in my stocking is in another the-world-hates-me spin. My patience wears thin.

Now your favorite, the “naughty.” She’s 17, I’m 26 [you sigh here]. Girlfriends have been very rare on the granted end of my wish list (see: 26, virgin until recently) and the charm of this first girl only just began to wear thin/thick. Until now it’s been two kindred souls gulfed only by age and distance. I know my patience will be rewarded if I can only get back into the spirit of past, present and future, but it’s so difficult sometimes loving someone through monosyllables and gloomy glums. Time and experience will solve our yule-tide blues, but what can this elf do in-between seasons?

— Mikey Pooh in Missouri

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