The last arcade in Chinatown.

You’re welcome.

H/T DJDistracted.

From BG’s alter ego, writing in the New York Daily News:

What was that alligator doing running loose last weekend in Queens? Perhaps officials should question my mother.

When my father was courting her, which was back when people still said “courting,” he spent a summer teaching in Florida. That was also back when one could actually mail baby Florida alligators up North as scaly souvenirs. And so, in lieu of flowers, Dad sent one to my mom.

A teddy bear, sure. Live lobsters, yum. But an alligator? What was he thinking? What genius expert gave that dating tip? (“Fellas: Win her heart with random cruelty!”) Surely Dad knew that his intended was, like him (despite appearances), an animal lover — but with a much less sturdy constitution and a much more bleeding heart. How could he possibly have reasoned that this reptilian keepsake would give her the fuzzies? (Continued…)

The really rather cute Peter Backus, a Ph.D. candidate in economics in England, has boldly attempted to solve one of the great mysteries of the universe, otherwise known as “Why I don’t have a girlfriend.”

To do so, he employs The Drake Equation, which “is used to estimate the number of highly evolved civilisations that might exist in our galaxy,” he writes. “I have used this approach to estimate the number of potential girlfriends in the UK. The results are not encouraging. The probability of finding love in the UK is only about 100 times better than the probability of finding intelligent life in our galaxy.”

The equation was developed in 1961 by Dr. Frank Drake at the National Radio Astronomy Observatory in Green Bank, West Virginia. The equation is generally specified as:

G = R • fP • ne • fl • fi • fe • L

where
G = The number of civilizations capable of interstellar communication
R = The rate of formation of stars capable of supporting life (stars like our Sun)
ne = The average number of planets similar to Earth per planetary system
fl = The fraction of the Earth-like planets supporting life of any kind
fi = The fraction of life-supporting planets where intelligent life develops
fc = The fraction of planets with intelligent life that are capable of interstellar communication (those which have electromagnetic technology like radio or TV)
L = The length of time such communicating civilizations survive

Backus makes the following adjustments:

G = N* • fm • fl • fA • fU • fB

where
G = The number of potential girlfriends.
R = The rate of formation of people in the UK (i.e. population growth).
fW = The fraction of people in the UK who are women.
fL = The fraction of women in the UK who live in London.
fA = The fraction of the women in London who are age-­appropriate.
fU = The fraction of age-­appropriate women in London with a university education.
fB = The fraction of university educated, age-­appropriate women in London who I find physically attractive.
L = The length of time in years that I have been alive thus making an encounter with a potential girlfriend possible.

With me so far? I am now going to attempt to apply Backus’ equation to my chance of finding a man in New York — with the following caveats. (more…)

From I09: “…If this means that we’re in for fast-paced, witty banter between two leads obviously meant for each other…then I am entirely on board for [SyFy’s Warehouse 13.]”

(For us New Yorkers, though, anything with a warehouse that big? Storage porn.)

How fitting that the quickie-wedding chapel that recently popped up on New York’s Lower East Side — the real one, not this one — is itself a fly-by-night operation. In fact, it’s still looking for backers. Small-time backers, in case you’re interested.

Wackadoo design/consulting firm GrandOpening has a performance-arty habit of opening-then-closing a number of businesses in its Norfolk Avenue storefront space. Over the past year and change, that’s included a ping-pong lounge and a drive-in movie theater. (Fer rills! Chex it!) The nameless chapel is its latest incarnation.

Getting hitched here includes an ordained dude at the ready, some Vegas-y Elvis backdrops and stuff, live, streaming vid of your nups and a few snapshots. In addition, you can book an hourlong reception to follow, complete with DJ and, I might assume, gawking manorexics.

But, according to the firm’s site, they’re hoping to find another $2k of funding before July 1 in order to really get the party started.

Who’s gonna bet on love?

Only 44 more to go! (We’re talking to you, New York.)

Last month I remarked in my post about status-starved Japanese girls that I’d love to be “New York-married” (my friend Kristyn’s phrase for having a live-in boy/girlfriend) so that I could go halfsies on the rent for my one-bedroom flat.

But I’d better never find myself New York-divorced, lest I wind up having to reconfigure that 1br into a “cozy 2br share!” like some no-longer-couples are being forced to do, says this AP story from last week. It’s the economy, snookums!

“With the recession and the collapse of the housing market, more and more couples who have broken up are continuing to live under the same roof, according to judges and divorce lawyers. Some are waiting for housing prices to rebound; some are trying to get back on their feet financially.”

And some, I suppose, are Netflixing a movie or two to help find a thread of black humor in the whole sucky sitch. And watching them from their half of the couch.

Here’s a sweet New York Times story about Gotham’s storied marriage bureau (locus of Matt Damon’s lowest-of-keys wedding to Sarah Silverman Luciana Bozan).

As the Times reports, the office itself may be heading for an extreme makeover — but it’s still a nice reminder that not all nuptials are extreme weddingpaloozas.

Because you know you’ve always been curious about your neighbors lives, the Binghamton (N.Y.) Press & Sun-Bulletin has created a database called “Why We Divorce”. It uses state Department of Health records to detail county-by-county in New York state the reasons people cite for the demise of their marriage. Mental (and “other”) cruelty was the number one reason people across the state divorced in 2005, which was the last year the numbers appear to be available. Abandonment came in at number two. And apparently only five people in the entire state of New York, pop. 19,306,183, divorced because of adultery that year — which, we assume, is probably a little like when celebrities split citing “irreconcilable differences” (i.e. “We have irreconcilably different opinions of Madonna“).

On a more upbeat note, the site also tracks the most popular wedding month per county in the state. Even if you’re not from New York, you know you’re curious when most Staten Islanders get married (August) and how many January weddings there were in Herkimer County (9). That, or one may learn that come October in Dutchess County, those with wedding fatigue may wish to get the heck outta Dodge.

Here, your weekly installment of Ask Lynn, BG’s alter ego’s column at MSN.com (powered by Match.com). This one may be less of a lightning rod than last week’s “Call me when you’re skinny,” but we’re betting there’s something we can all relate to in the letter from “Not Over in Denver.”

His story: He’s in New York, she’s in Denver. They meet online. They are together (mostly online but a few times off) for seven months, during which time he “nurses her back to health” after a collosally crappy series of psychological challenges. Some thanks: She leaves him for her brother-in-law’s best friend, ten years her junior. His questions: “As dumb as it may seem, should I even hope that we might reconcile down the road? I mean, what are the chances she will even last with this younger guy? If she and I don’t date again, is there anything I can do about the fact that we ended terribly, which I regret? And how can I find closure on this?”

Yep, those are pretty much the million-dollar questions of just about any breakup. Lynn answers them all (‘That’ll be $4,000,000″) — and offers this bonus: closure ain’t as hard to find as you think. Read the whole story, and then come back here to comment!