All you wizened, still-not-“old“-yet-thank-you-very-much souls in the crowd will enjoy a mature chuckle over this list, brought to you by Tango, of bad-bordering-on-cheesy relationship mistakes (female variety).

Personally, I damn near find serenity in knowing how many of them I used to act out, having now graduated to a level of in-my-bones instinctiveness about what not to do. Such as: “Thinking our partners must be interested in everything we do, think and say”; “Putting so much energy into a fairy-tale romance that we’re disappointed with anything less“; and “Not asking for what we want in bed.” (Amen, sister!) They’re so familiar, they border on cliche — but cliches wouldn’t be cliches if they weren’t rooted in truth.

And so, if these mistakes are a thing of your present, not your past, allow me to offer up a little bon mot I’ve long held dear: “Cliches happen.” Spoken by a very wise, not-very-old, ridiculously sexy man.

A note on notes from January 9, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl,
I’ve learned all there is to know about the breakup now, but haven’t experienced the going-out part yet. What’s the best way to let a guy know that you’re interested — note, phone, in person, a friend…?
— Jennie

Dear Jennie,
Whatever you do, don’t have “a friend” let him know. That will turn your would-be romance into something out of “My So-Called Life” faster than you can say “Jordan Catalano.” And a note is way too Shakespeare — plus, it could fall into the wrong hands, or never reach your intended at all (speaking of Claire Danes). Keep it simple — old-fashioned, even. Ask him out for a malted; invite him to the dance; bring him along with your friends to the movies. He’ll at least start to get the hint — but if he doesn’t take it, move on.
Love,
Breakup Girl