Getting practical on January 9, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl,
What about a long-distance breakup? Should you meet one last time to do it, or do it over the phone?
— Johan

Dear Johan,
How long is long? If you’re talking about, say, the distance between Minneapolis and St. Paul, face-to-face is kinder and gentler, allowing for meaningful handholding, forlorn looks, etc. But if she’s going to spend big bucks to jet from Chicago to Madagascar only to get dumped — or if you’re going to show up on her doorstep after an overnight journey, dump her, and then need a place to stay — I say dial those digits. Unless, of course, you think that the resulting phone bill will be roughtly equivalent to transatlantic airfare (first-class).
Love,
Breakup Girl