Dear Breakup Girl,

Okay, this is kinda (well actually is) rather lengthy and complicated, but here goes. Currently I’m a SWM 20, sophomore in college. At the beginning of the summer semester two new girls, twins, although not identical, moved into the dorms. We met one Sunday morning at church and I was informed that they were going to the same college as me and we ought to get to know each other. All fine and well. Now the fun begins. As the only available college boy in the church at the time it was assumed immediately and automatically that one of the twins and I were going to end up hooking up. Rumors flew about who liked who and the like and it all became a lovely little mess. Extremely short: I liked one and the other liked me. I now know.

So one night, a friend and I stop by the dorms to see them the twin I liked (further referred to as t1) and we had a deep conversation about her life and mine and past relationships and that genre of discussion. It was a bit emotional, at least from my standpoint. So we made arrangements for the four of us to go out the next evening to show them around town, so to speak. However, t2 had already laid claim to me (according to the sisterly and womanly laws governing men, I later found out) so t1 agreed to backoff. T2 used this time get to know me and one night voiced her affections for me audibly. –and physically. (Hold on now, not like that, she kissed me. Okay, a lot, but …). She requested that I at least give the relationship a try, and being the want-to-be-a-nice-guy type that I am, I agreed.

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Dear Breakup Girl,

Deal: seeing boy for six months, not serious (i.e. never really considering future possibilities) although we spent all our time together. All. He met a girl who lives far away, decided he is ‘in love’ and has been conducting a long-distance relationship with a woman he has met once. Of sorts. He still sleeps at my place (though there is no sex) and we eat together, walk the dog together, trying to proclaim to the world and to ourselves how comfortable we are with being … Just Friends.

His girlfriend (somewhat understandably) goes ballistic when my name is even mentioned, and so he no longer mentions my name to her.

He is completely infatuated with her, but is completely completely unwilling to change things between us. He says that because we are no longer actually having sex, he is not being unfaithful to her … though we still sleep in the same bed and I wake with his arms around me … I know that’s terrible, but HE’S the one who has changed things so shouldn’t HE be the one who is responsible for making sure things change?

Wait, there’s more after the jump!

Struggling with the ultimate romantic choice? The one you’ve got vs. the one that got away? Familiar and stable vs. fizzy and exciting? Veronica vs. Betty?

Well, envy Archie.* Looks like our man in Riverdale may get to have it both ways.

As today’s Times reports: “That perennially teenage redhead…made headlines around the world when word leaked, back in May, that he would propose to his longtime love interest, Veronica Lodge, in issue No. 600 of the comic that bears his name. But that issue, published in August, was only Part 1 of a six-part story. Although Archie did marry Veronica, things will take a turn in November, when Archie proposes to the lady in waiting, Betty Cooper. That’s just the latest twist in the romantic triangle that has thrust this nearly 70-year-old character, and his parent company, into the media spotlight.”

How’s he gonna pull that off? Easy: alternate universe! “The wedding story was written by Michael E. Uslan and illustrated by Stan Goldberg, a longtime ‘Archie’ artist. The first half was called ‘Archie Marries Veronica,’ but issue No. 603, on sale next month, is called ‘Archie Marries Betty.’ The end of bachelorhood began in issue No. 600, in which Archie found himself on a road named Memory Lane, which he has often traveled. This time he walked a different direction and encountered a fork in the road. He chose the left path, which allowed him to see his future with Veronica and their twins, and himself working for her tycoon father. At the end of the October issue, No. 602, Archie goes for an evening stroll and encounters the fork again. In the November issue Archie will find himself back in Riverdale High, this time envisioning a future with Betty as his wife. (A set of twins factors into this destiny as well.)”

(Doctor Who fans will recall when this totally happened to Donna Noble, only instead of twins there was a giant bug. And — Halloween preview — let’s not forget Breakup Girl Friday in Ghost Ex!)

But the question remains: who do you think he should wind up with? (“Jughead” would of course be a revolutionary twist, but I don’t think we’re there yet.)

* And talk to The Guy At The End of the Bar.

Nope, not Kris vs. Adam — though there’s that. After 65 years, the most famous, and ageless, love triangle may finally be resolved. “The wholesome, red-headed teenager Archie Andrews will be popping the question to one of his childhood sweethearts,” reports wowowow.com (via the Archie Comics official blog), “but who will it be, Betty Cooper or Veronica Lodge?”

Well? Who do you think it should be? And what will the answer mean for “good”/”bad” girls everywhere?

Dancing around the subject on December 29 1997…

Dear Breakup Girl,

I was dating this guy for a few months and ended up moving to the city where he lived (no, he was not the reason I moved). When I moved in he asked me to a holiday formal. I knew it wasn’t a serious relationship and I knew we were both allowed to see other people, but he got involved with someone else and decided he wanted to be only with her. So instead of breaking it off before the formal, he took me. I didn’t know any of this and assumed we were going as a couple, but at the end of the night he broke it off. I wasn’t really mad about that — I was furious that he felt me the need to take me the formal where all of friends knew he was involved with someone else. Am I crazy to think this was wrong and childish?

— Angela

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