Going nowhere on November 30, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl

I have a problem. It’s an embarrassing problem, and I don’t know if there’s much I can do about it.

You see, I am unattractive, physically. Not for lack of trying, mind you. I exercise, I have good hygiene, I try to wear what flatters me, I even went so far as to get my legs waxed and my hair done. But the fact of the matter is that I’ve got some acne scars from my youth, I’ve got crooked teeth, and I’ve got the obligatory family curse of a huge ass. And these things aren’t the kind of traits that I can change without some plastic surgery, and when you work as an office temp, well, there just isn’t a way I can afford that sort of thing.

It’s really hard when you get constantly passed over when you’re out with your friends, or when you find out that one of them invites you out so that she can look better. It’s hard to know that inside, you’re as beautiful as any supermodel, and about a million times as smart, but no man will come near you because you are (in words I over heard once, coming from a grown man no less) “a big bow-wow.”

I’m tired of being lonely, and I was wondering what advice you had for a girl like me.

— Miss “Great Personality”

BG’s answer after the jump!

Separation anxiety on July 6, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl,

I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost four years, and we have a very close relationship. We have even talked about marriage. Now, he is seriously considering a job that would require him to be out of the state during the week. He would still be home on weekends, and hopes to eventually work from home several days during the week. He’s in a “golden handcuffs” situation with his current job; there’ll be a big financial payoff if he sticks around a few more years, but he’s dissatisfied with the job, and feels unrewarded. This new opportunity would pay a higher salary, but the long-term successof the company is questionable, and he’s heard many negative reports about the man who would be his boss.

Anyway, I want to be the supportive girlfriend, and I truly believe that if the new job is the better opportunity, he should take it, regardless of the “sure thing” he has with his current job. Happiness is worth more than money, I say. However, the thought of being apart all week does not make me very happy. I’m not saying that it couldn’t work, but when you’re used to seeing someone every day, it’s a bitter pill to swallow!

Worse than that, though, is his lack of concern over this issue.Throughout all of his deliberations over the job, he never mentioned our relationship. Finally, noting that I hadn’t had much to say on the issue, he asked me for my opinion. I said that although the job sounds good, I couldn’t believe that he hadn’t even considered the impact this would have on our relationship. Even a “Gee, I’ll really miss you — we’ll have to make up for it on the weekends!” would have been nice! His response was that he really didn’t believe that it would have an impact on the relationship. H E L L O? Is he simply more secure and well-adjusted than I am, or do you think that his career is so important to him that it doesn’t matter whether our relationship will suffer? He’s always talked as though family and friends were his top priorities (with me falling somewhere between those two categories…) but now I wonder if that is true. I’d really love to hear your input on this, because I doubt that either of us are being totally objective at this point.

— Kathleen

BG’s response after the jump!

The Predicament of the Week from March 23, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl,

There is this guy that I met while working. We were in different departments but on the same floor. He was always there to listen to me and give me advice and noticing when I wasn’t happy or having problems at work. There is no doubting if you are agreeable to somebody when they see you and break out into a gigantic smile, every time. At first I didn’t think of him as anything more than a cool guy. But one day I woke up and realized that I was attracted to him not because of what he looks like but because I felt comfortable around him (which you must understand for me is strange since I’ve had odd relationships up until now). We had a fall-out in which he said to me that he knew me very well, that I was an emotional person, that when I became emotional I was defensive and when I became defensive, that made him uncomfortable because he felt that he needed to justify himself to me. All true, but it seemed odd that two people that were just co-workers were sharing with each other.

(more…)

MSN.com, Match.com, HappenMagazine.com: they’re in a healthy and satisfying 3-way relationship. Meaning that you can find MSN/Match.com’s “Ask Lynn” columns –penned by BG’s alter ego — over at Happen now as well.

This week Lynn answers a letter from Stumped in St. Louis, who feels his long distance relationship is in jeopardy because of his job loss.

I’m feelling very stressed and scared about telling her what happened because it is going to significantly impact our ability to see each other. … Do I put our relationship on hold and focus totally on finding a new job? Or should I suggest that we make that move we’ve been talking about so we can pool our resources and see what it’s like to finally be together?

Read the full letter at Happen, then come back to pitch in your two cents.

Let’s hope they’re more charming than the want-ad for their services.