Show of hands. How many of us have not called in sick to work after a breakup? When you can’t even pick yourself up off the kitchen floor, how can you be expected to cowboy up in your cubicle?

So, FINALLY, someone has come to their senses and started offering “heartache leave.” (I know BG covered this in brief a ways back, but I’m still awash in admiration.) The Japanese PR firm Hime & Company (www.himeclub.com, for those of you who read Japanese), decided to start offering its employees this benefit because it found that those going through a breakup are often distracted at work, leading to costly mistakes and strange, distracting behavior.

The time for recovery is set by your age. Those in their early 20s only get one day off. (I guess on the assumption that people in their 20s get over heartache more quickly.) The mid-20s rank two days off; those 30 and over get a full three. I don’t know about you, but the last time I went through a breakup — and I fall into that last demographic — I needed about a week before I could sit at a desk without systematically snapping all my pencils in half.

Leave it to Japan — which can add this to its list of welcome innovations including smart cars, Hello Kitty, and raw fish — to understand the impact of heartache on the workplace.
I can’t even get my employer to recognize that my work suffers when I have the flu.

Wanting it all on January 9, 1998 …

Dear Breakup Girl,
My “friend” lives in Seattle, I live in St. Louis. I was dating another fellow here, but he broke up with me when I went to visit the guy in Seattle. Problem is, I see the Seattle one only about every six months. I don’t have any commitment from him. So how can I start dating someone in St. Louis and not have them break up with me when I want to see my friend in Seattle? It’s very lonely waiting and not knowing when I will see my Seattle friend.
— Becca

Dear Becca,
Lose Seattle Boy, pronto. All he has to offer you is sleeplessness, heartache, and a great cup of coffee once every six months. Right now you are trying to have two cakes and eat them both — but you’re really getting crumbs of dry, day-old biscotti that aren’t worth it the first place. You will be much less lonely without Seattle, because you will be free — actually and emotionally — to meet St. Louis.
Love,
Breakup Girl