More fruitcake from December 29, 1997…

Dear Breakup Girl,

I thought my girlfriend broke up with me last week. She said, “I’m not comfortable with the term ‘boyfriend and girlfriend.'” I was really bummed, it being right before Christmas and all. Then when I called her to cancel plans for a party arranged a long time ago, she said she still wanted to date…What is going on?

— John

Dear John,

What is going on is that girlfriend wants to have her fruitcake and eat it too. Apparently, the term she’s really not comfortable with is “alone.” She may not want to be committed to you, but she also doesn’t want to go stag to that party. Now, some couples (or semi-couples) do manage to have it both ways, but only when a “casual” thing is officially okay with both of them. If that doesn’t work for you, tell her you’re not comfortable with the term “just dating.” Either way, get to the bottom of it, communicate, straighten things out. As you now know, the most uncomfortable terms are “uncertain.”

Love,
Breakup Girl