Going on strike, September 7, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl,

Once again–congrats on the wonderful website.

One of my closest friends has been living with a guy for several years. I don’t care for him, but I figure, if a friend’s boyfriend treats her well, that’s all that should matter to others. Problem is, he doesn’t, at least not in the following regard. I wouldn’t call him abusive, but he’s often verbally nasty to her in public. I’ve mentioned to her that it’s not a pleasure to watch him do his number, but my friend has a bit of a doormat problem. I want to say something to him when he starts in, but he’s very aggressive and I’d rather not have a bad fight. Any thoughts on how to say it in a way that gets the point across without things turning into a scene? Thanks.

— Unsure

Dear Unsure,

BOYcott. Tell her you’ll hang out with her, but not with the two of them, and tell her why. That way you get to keep your friend — and make your point.

BG thanks you for asking an excellent question. And so, I hope, will your friend.

Love,
Breakup Girl