From BG’s alter ego, writing in the New York Daily News:

What was that alligator doing running loose last weekend in Queens? Perhaps officials should question my mother.

When my father was courting her, which was back when people still said “courting,” he spent a summer teaching in Florida. That was also back when one could actually mail baby Florida alligators up North as scaly souvenirs. And so, in lieu of flowers, Dad sent one to my mom.

A teddy bear, sure. Live lobsters, yum. But an alligator? What was he thinking? What genius expert gave that dating tip? (“Fellas: Win her heart with random cruelty!”) Surely Dad knew that his intended was, like him (despite appearances), an animal lover — but with a much less sturdy constitution and a much more bleeding heart. How could he possibly have reasoned that this reptilian keepsake would give her the fuzzies? (Continued…)

Apparently it’s not just wine that gets better with age. According to a study by Yang Yang, a University of Chicago sociologist, the happiest Americans are the oldest Americans — and one thing those happy seniors are not is lonely. Yang believes that’s because older people have, in general, learned to be more content with what they have than younger folks.

As a case in point, Florida’s Highlands Today featured Lou and Dottie Mingacci, who have been married 62 years. Lou’s Wednesday morning Bingo outings represent his rare moments of separation from his beloved, the World War II vet tells the paper. When asked what keeps him happy, Mingacci quickly replies: his wife.

Isn’t it nice to have something to look forward to?