Changing his tuna on October 19, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl,

I’ve been seeing a woman for quite some time (>4 years), but we’ve always had a long distance relationship. We’ve always been up and down, but now that she has followed me to a new city, things have been more down than up. I’ve given her a 2 month “adjustment period,” but I’m still confused. At times I think she’s the one, and at other times I want to check out the rest of the fish in the pool. To make things more confusing, my new job combined with being new-meat-in-town has made me a chick magnet (not trying to brag– this is new to me).

Other hang-ups include: We’ve decided that I’m the one who needs to commit, ’cause she feels completely commited. We’re both very busy professionals who value our own time and have little free time. I’ve always thought (and my friends agree) that she’s the type you marry. She was a rebound-chick that kept going and going and going… There were times that I nibbled at other fish when we were apart, and once I got baited. There’s a part of me that’s a mako and another that’s a white baby seal. Positives include that she may be the nicest girl I’ll ever meet, and she really is the type that I should marry. We also have some very good times together. I’d like some insight of yours.

— Don’t Stand So Close to Me

Dear Don’t Stand,

When it comes to the question of marriage, using terms like “type,” “should” and “positives include” has all the romance of Arthur Treacher. Hey, Mr. Meat, cut bait (gently), and go fish on Friday.

Love,
Breakup Girl