Double dealing on May 25, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl,

This is kinda a horror story/survivor story. Last summer I was crushing on a guy friend so I sucked up my gut and told him. He e-mailed (how tacky) me back and took several pages to get across the meaning that he wasn’t interested. I then invoked the curse of e-mail breakups and sent it to all my friends with the subject heading “And I thought I liked this jerk!” Everyone (including him and I) swore to secrecy as no one wanted it all over our junior high. Then last fall I’m walking down the hall when some guy asks if I asked (we’ll call him Bob) Bob out over the summer. I later asked Bob if he told anyone, he swore up and down that he didn’t, and even suggested that my friends knew as well. So I asked the guy who’d asked me about it at school who had told him. His reply: “Bob, but don’t tell him because he’ll be really mad at me.” I told Bob that he lied to me. He e-mailed me back (again!) to say “Call it what you like.” So I dropped him like a bad habit and moved my attentions to someone more mature (and more likely to say things in person). He’s more cute, too. I’m having a blast flirting and not having to worry about having a boyfriend. Hence proving again that the good guys always (well, usually) win.

— Free From Lame E-Mailers

Dear Free,

Hmmm. I really do like the ending, but I must say that Bob’s email did not necessarily warrant the Curse. I mean, it may not have been what you wanted to hear, but it wasn’t a breakup. Also, I’m not sure how your e-forwarding move is consistent with your professed dedication to “secrecy” — like, how you can bust Bob for blabbing when you totally did yourself. Call it what you like, but I’d say it’s a big NO on number 1, above. Sorry.

Love,
Breakup Girl

This just landed in the BG super-inbox…

It’s sort of the opposite of this. Though of course our favorite robot is probably this one.

Trying to readjust on March 2, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl,

My girlfriend of three years recently broke up with me. I don’t know what went wrong. She didn’t even tell me in person, but e-mailed me the breakup letter. I tried calling and telling her that we should talk about whatever it is that’s causing her to want to break up, but she avoids my phone calls. I e-mailed her asking her why and her reply was that her feelings for me were fading. But my question is: how can her feelings for me change so quickly? We always had fun together and I know she likes me and I like her. I’m just confused. And she also wants me to find someone else!?!?!? Why would I do that when I love her? Oh yes, her letters to me were … hmmm, how should I say this? — cold and without feeling. It was like another person was writing the letter and not her. What should I do now?

— Missing Her

(more…)

A moving response on March 2, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl,

I dated this guy for six months. I’m 40, he’s 25. We were getting along so great — then as soon as I let down my walls, told him I had feelings for him, he broke up with me. He’s moving away and doesn’t want to have anything to do with me anymore. What’s the deal? Plus, I hate being broken up with by e-mail … what a coward. .

–Deena

Dear Deena,

You guys have heard what I always say about the C-word. You know, Canada. Where people tend to flee to when they feel like they’re about to have to make a commitment (for Canadians, it’s Cleveland). Which is most likely what happened with your young buck. And in this case I think it was more a function of age (sowage of wild oats surplus, yada yada yada) than of gender.

(more…)

Getting “friendly” on February 23, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl,

I’ve been going out with my boyfriend for five months; he’s 17, I’m 16. Things were giong really well until I noticed how “friendly” he is with other girls. He says he loves me,and I truly know that he does, it’s just that he cannot seem to stop “flirting” with other girls. I am his first serious relationship and he was used to having a lot of close friends, but whenever I am present or not, he playfully frolics around with their hair and their clothes and I don’t think it is appropriate! Maybe he just likes attention, but it drives me insane! I don’t want to have to break up with him over it, but he also creates these double standards where he gets jealous if I even receive e-mail from another guy. What should I do?

— Feeling Betrayed

(more…)

A LONG one from December 16, 1997…

Dear Breakup Girl,
I’ve just spent $1500 in air fare and hotel bills to visit a man I’d corresponded with by e-mail frequently (often more than once a day) for seven months. We seemed especially well-suited to each other (we have identical graduate degrees) and each of us was amazed at how easy and natural the relationship progressed.

But from the first moment of my arrival, it was obvious that he was not really present or interested. For the next few days, he spent bare minimum time with me — I finally told him I felt like I was his mother’s roommate’s niece that he had promised to show around town.

(more…)