A return customer from September 28, 1998…
Dear Breakup Girl,
Yes, it is I, Lisa, once again, from the Jessica / Sherman thing. And normally I would hate you completely and never read your column again for leaving my on the edge of my seat waiting for a SMALL response. But you’re truly lucky, because now I have a bigger predicament.
I have know this guy *call him Stephen* for three years, and we have been the sweetest of friends. I’ve always gone to his house on Friday nights and played video games all night, and he’d attend all my cheerleading competitions. It has been the sweetest. The strange thing about our relationship is that we’re sexually active. We fool around pretty much every chance we get, and it’s pretty much a secret, only his best friend and my best friend know about it.
Anyways, this new girl moved in recently *call her Desiree*. Of course Stephen hooked up with her, which I was happy about. But I warned her beforehand that Stephen doesn’t date girls for too long.
So yesterday we were going to the video store when him and his friend T started talking about how everyone should quit talking about me and Stephen. So I asked what was going on and they clued me in that he dumped her yesterday, and now everyone is talking about beating me up because I supposedly broke them up.
(more…)
MSN.com, Match.com, HappenMagazine.com: they’re in a healthy and satisfying 3-way relationship. Meaning that you can find MSN/Match.com’s “Ask Lynn†columns –penned by BG’s alter ego — over at Happen now as well.
This week Lynn responds to Solitary Sue, a 56-year-old widow having trouble finding love on line. The first problem is the men themselves — looking for hookups not relationships — and then
My second problem is that I do have a couple of disabilities. I am on oxygen for emphysema and am somewhat limited in mobility due to a severe back injury. How do I introduce that into conversation without chasing anyone off?
How can Sue present herself and find the right kind of men? Read the full letter and Lynn’s response over at Happen, then comment below.
Two guys and a girl on February 23, 1998…
Dear Breakup Girl,
I am currently sleeping with not one but two of my really close guy friends. The problem is one of them asked me about starting a public relationship with him and I told him I wasn’t interested in starting something like that and from then on he has been treating me like a bitch. The other guy recently told me he loved me and I don’t believe in love and don’t want to experience it. My friends know about this and I will tell anyone who asks me the truth, but I was wondering if this make me a slut ???
— Clueless in Idaho
Dear Idaho,
Having sex outside of a “relationship” does not make you — or anyone — a “slut.”
But having sex with people who you know want more of a relationship than you do, and then hurting their feelings, does make you: lonely.
Love,
Breakup Girl
The New York Daily News, our fair city’s runner-up for best morning-after headlines, recently reported that women are not enjoying one-night stands as much as men. According to a survey published in the journal Human Nature, 58% of women said they would not have a casual encounter again, compared to only 23% of men who felt the same. The study found that women still tend to feel “used†after a one-night stand, and that in such brief encounters, often feel let down by sex that’s “not as satisfying as they’d hoped for.†Men, for their part, tended to regret their choice of partners, lamenting that the women “weren’t as attractive in the morning as they’d seemed the night before.â€
Over here at BG.net, we’re not sure either how much we’d respect the ultimate conclusions of this study in the morning. Because maybe it’s not so much that “women have not adapted to casual sex” (Urr?) but that society’s double standards (still!) have not adapted to women having casual sex. Check out Feministing’s response for more.