Fer rills, yo, that’s what a booty-call buddy once said to me late at night when I was already in his bed and awaiting our usual pillow romp. In fact, he used that sexcuse (I just made up that word) for a good week and a half, until I finally decided this guy was either a) kinda gay, b) hellbent on annihilating my self-esteem, or c) a full-on, French royalty hemophiliac.

How do you think that one compares to these lame-o sex dodges guys use?

From our pals at the Daily Bedpost, advice on minding your booty call manners that you’ll never hear from Miss Fling.

Most people don’t talk about booty calls. That’s part of their appeal: “We don’t have to endlessly com-mu-ni-cate because we’re not in a serious relationship.” People rely on a tacit understanding when it comes to casual sex with their friends and neighbors, and especially their exes. But it’s silly to assume that everyone “understands” the exact same set of personal guidelines. The implicit, unlegislated booty call is a complicated procedure, due to varying agendas, the likelihood of miscommunication, and the chance of emotional intimacy. The smart people know that without rules, there are expectations, and those, by definition, make things messy. Even if you don’t think you have any expectations, that in itself is an expectation: That you not expect anything of me, that you not sleep over, that you not get mad if I don’t call you back. So let’s once and for all manage those expectations with The 25 Rules of the Modern Booty Caller.

Click here for the rest, including this uber-rule: “No matter how casual the set-up, remember that your booty buddy is a human being.”