The Predicament of the Week from December 7, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl,

I have been consulting your Website for the past few weeks, and I have found it to be chock full of good humor and good advice, which is what us broken-hearted people need. I have found myself in one of those situations that requires consultation. Trouble is, everyone has given me conflicting feedback, so I was hoping to submit this to you, the grand pooh-bah of the broken up.

Here is my story: After a lengthy period of not having anyone special in my life, I met this fantastic woman. I live in a college town, so it’s kind of a major event when I find someone my own age. She’s thirty, single, the mother of two children, appreciates the nuances of the “The Dukes of Hazzard” and likes to act out scenes from Shakespeare plays as foreplay. All in all, a great match for me.

Over the course of a few months, Mr. Love pays us a visit, and we start talking about “the Big Picture,” which includes us moving in together and living happily ever after, etc. But I couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow at her occassional freakouts. Over time, I find out that her last boyfriend and the father of her second child turned out to be a full-blown psycho. So there was physical and mental abuse in her past, and probably some pretty unspeakable things.

I take this all in, and our relationship quickly keeps going up and up. I plan this big, romantic dinner, and she is all giddy with anticipation. I had tried to tell her that I loved her before, but she had put her hand over my mouth to stop me. She had melted then, but she wouldn’t let me say it. So I am thinking that its time to try again. The big day comes, plans have been made, and I get this feeling that tonight is the right time. But earlier that day, my best friend from college, a women who I have known for ten years, e-mails me to tell me that she is coming to town to attend a wedding, and wants a place to crash. So, me being Mr. Sensitive and all, I figure I should ask my girlfriend how she feels about this before I give the OK.

(more…)

Dear Breakup Girl,

I have just recently discovered your column…and I love it! However, I have an issue that I need to get a second opinion on. I have this boyfriend that I’ve been seeing for only a couple of months now. But we’ve known each other for 4 years and had crushes on each other all that time. Well everything’s good I suppose but there’s some things I have a problem with. OK, he’s the same age as me (21) but he has a 14 month old child. He rarely gets to see it but he does pay child support. I’m not sure why it bothers me so much…perhaps because he was a virgin until this girl came along and “seduced” him. He claims she “tricked” him and told him that she couldn’t get pregnant and that she was on the pill. And you know how dumb and gullible some men can be. Well he believed it and they slept together for the next three or four months. He even had the nerve to tell me how many times a day they had sex!! Well, needless to say she got pregnant and he realized what a huge mistake he had made. Now this whole situation really disturbs me sometimes. I don’t know if I just feel threatened by her…I mean I know he doesn’t want her back. There’s no doubt in my mind about that. It’s just that he has all this excess baggage that I have to deal with.

(more…)

Tired of waiting on September 7, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl,

I’ve been in a 2-year relationship with my boyfriend and now we’ve hit that make or break point. He wants to marry me but doesn’t have the financial means yet. We’re both in our mid-20s, make decent money but still have awhile to go before we’re financially secure. He’s planning on going to grad school part time (which would mean 5 years before he would get his degree) but that would take a big chunk out of “wedding savings.” He has also has a lot of financial obligations at home and for his family.

My question is do I wait for him to get his act together or do I move on? I don’t want to be like a Christmas tree that goes bad after the 25th. My parents have been hounding us to at least get engaged but who wants to have a 5-year engagement? I feel like I really do love him (he’s my first “real” b-f) but love won’t pay the bills. I want a comfortable life with my future hubby but if he’s bringing in all this baggage into our life together before we’ve even begun, I don’t really know if I can handle it. I’ve been patient and understanding and I don’t want to lose him but maybe momma’s right and I do have to marry for money rather than love.

Please share your thoughts on this. Thanks!
— (Not a) Material Girl

BG shares her thoughts after the jump!

Heavy baggage from January 12, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl,

I went out with a girl (and I mean the term girl as opposed to woman) for nineteen months. She was immature, financially and personally irresponsible, and intellectually challenged. I am the kind of person who has a very close inner circle of five or six friends and rarely lets other people in. I let her in to my inner circle, and treated her as more than an equal in that circle.

I recently found out that she cheated on me. I gave her a second chance, and she did it again. She had lied to me on more than one occasion in the relationship, but I kept forgiving. I threw her out.

(more…)

To forget Jackie, Paul turns back the clock–for realz…

(more…)

Breakup Girl Friday finds it hard to carry-on with so much baggage…

/ 

(more…)