Classic Breakup Girl essay from January 19, 1998!

Learning from our mistakes is an essential survival skill. Yet we are much better students in some situations (“Ow! Orange stove burner hot! … Do not touch again!”) than we are in others (“Ow! Man on motorcycle unreliable! … Date again!”). That said, the circumstances in the excerpts from the letters below –specifically, what Breakup Girl has put in blue should all be considered Bad Signs…

Christy: I have been seeing this guy for about 3 months now. Everything seemed to be really good between us…then he went away for a week to his hometown. He got back on Sunday and I still haven’t heard from him. I remember him telling me on the phone that he was bad at relationships, and when he starts going out with somebody he’ll avoid them and not call them, etc. Which is why we aren’t labeled as boyfriend/girlfriend…because all the label does is add pressure. I really want to be with him. Tell me what you think.

BG: Yo. When someone tells you they are “bad at relationships,” believe them. By saying so, they are writing themselves a permission slip to do exactly that. And yeah, the boyfriend/girlfriend label does add “pressure.” As well it should. As in “responsibility.” If two people willingly agree not to “label” their relationship, fine. But if you do want that label, then quit digging through the Irregular bin. Girlfriend’s gotta hold out for Armani.
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