Getting crazy on August 17, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl,

I have an unusual situation. I don’t really have a girlfriend per se, but there is a woman in my life who I see when I’m around. I travel a lot, as in 85% of the time. I may only get 3-4 days notice that I, for example, have to go to Jerusalem for three months. Or, I may wakeup one morning to a phone call asking me to go to San Francisco for the day. Needless to say, it’s hard to have a real relationship. There is this woman in my life, who I do care a lot about, but we drive each other nuts. The net result is that we bump into each other when I’m in town, and have a really wild and crazy, completely irresponsible, sexually torrid, two-day affair. Then we each decide that the other is nuts, start avoiding each other, and then I leave town. When I get back, the cycle repeats. Our love/hate thing seems to be based on the fact that we’re really very similar people, but we’ve gone two separate ways. We see eye-to-eye and understand each other, but our lives are utterly different. I’m a highly paid technical consultant and she’s a stripper/full-time alcoholic. I collect exotic sports cars and condos in interesting places, she couch-surfs and does a lot of methamphetamine. I take meticulous care of my personal finances, and she periodically tries to kill herself. As you can see, we’re very different. But, underneath these different surfaces, live nearly identical minds. Weird, isn’t it? I keep getting drawn back into her chaotic life, no matter how much I tell myself that I just need to walk away. Part of the reason, I’m sure, is that no one other than a wildly unstable lunatic would ever want to be involved with me. I’m successful, but wildly eccentric. I’m sort of a suit and tie guy, but deep down at heart (and on weekends) I’m a shaved-head and leather clothes kinda guy. We’re a perfect match in some deeply twisted way (I won’t go into the details, but we share many common interests). Should I just give up for good?

— Jason

This is truly a job for Breakup Girl … after the jump!

Getting it together on February 16, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl,

I’ve been dating my neighbor for two months now. We were both in pretty bad situations to have started a serious relationship. I just moved to the area, know no one, and have a stressful job. His mother recently passed away, and he is dealing with other issues as well. I became completely dependent on him and lost all sense of myself. We have acknowledged my neediness, and have attempted to work through our obstacles, because we truly do share something special. I realize that I am in love with him, but problem is we just broke up this past weekend because I flipped out on him (again). We decided to talk things over in a week. I really want him back, and have taken steps to become more dependent on myself. I know now that I don’t need him to survive — I have a lot going for me on my own. I want us to have the loving, caring relationship we started out with, and that both of us deserve. I’ve always been a strong, stable person, but the slew of changes I’ve faced over the past months have exhibited themselves in some truly loathsome behavior and childish antics. I am embarrassed and ready to start anew. Help. How do I prove this to him?

Sincerely,
Sane, Sober and Secure

Dear Sane,

Say: “I really want you back, and have taken steps to become more dependent on myself. I know now that I don’t need you to survive — I have a lot going for me on my own. I want us to have the loving, caring relationship we started out with, and that both of us deserve. I’ve always been a strong, stable person, but the slew of changes I’ve faced over the past months have exhibited themselves in some truly loathsome behavior and childish antics. I am embarrassed and ready to start anew.”

Love,
Breakup Girl