A case of EX-squared from January 5, 1998… 

Dear Breakup Girl,

I was seeing this guy for two years and we practically lived with each other. I finally broke things off because we had such different ideas about what life should be like. He and I remained friends and in actuality our relationship continued except we were free to do what we wanted to. His family and I are extremely close and I just spent Christmas at his family’s home. Just recently I met a wonderful man and he and I have everything in common. How do I make my ex understand that I have to move on in order to make my life happy without completely breaking his heart?

–Completely Confused
Dear Completely Confused,

With breakups like these, who needs boyfriends? The we-broke-up-but-we-still-sleep-together arrangement is normally designed to quell separation anxiety and get you through hormone monsoon season. But you’ve also retained family visitation rights! Wow! This is a a new one for Breakup Girl.

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Celebration anxiety from January 5, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl,

God, I’m glad you were here for me on a most gloomy day!

A year ago I was dumped by my boyfriend of 3 1/2 years. I loved him so much but he didn’t want to be married as he had already been there, done that. He knew I wanted that and he didn’t. He said, “I’ve met someone that I want to be romantic with.” Like I was some passing fancy! He loved me! Grrr! He also told me that he “didn’t feel paid attention to” — yet he’d never said that before. To top it off, the next Friday night, the NEW GIRL was sleeping over at his house … as I drove by to spy.

Otherwise, I’ve done good, though: not stalked him or her, not sought revenge like the Chocolate Ex-Lax cake I have often dreamt about making, not calling him or her (though I did page him a couple times to no number), not sending him dead flowers or keying his car.

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There she goes, on January 5, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl,

About eight months ago my girlfriend of three years and I decided that our relationship was on a one-way trip to nowheresville. She moved out and we decided that we could “just be friends.” Well, we couldn’t! Big surprise. So now we no longer talk.

About six months after the breakup I noticed this girl that I wanted to get to know. However, I did not want to start up a relationship until I had purged all my feelings for my ex-girlfriend and felt comfortable with myself again. Well, I finally felt ready to move on (which is not an easy thing to accomplish) and decided to talk to the new girl. I found out that she is really cool and that I wanted to pursue a relationship with her. I also sensed that she felt the same about me. Here is the big problem: she is moving to Florida for two years to finish school.

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