A foreign occupation landing January 28, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl,

I met a girl 10 years younger than me about three weeks before being sent to Bosnia with the military. She moved into my apartment and is taking care of all my affairs. I have found that she drives me up the wall and I know for a fact that she isn’t the one for me. However, she has our marriage and life all planned out. I have tried to get her to understand that she doesn’t even know who I am, but she says she will change her whole life just to please me. I hate this and I really would like to hear what you — as a super-female — would do?

— GI John

 
Dear GI John,

Gals, just a tip: if your man would rather be in Bosnia than at home with you, you two need to talk.

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Going back for seconds on January 12, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl,

My ex-boyfriend and I split up three months ago after being together for a year. We split up because he was confused, and I was too dependent on him for stability. Since we’ve broken up, I’ve gained a lot of self-esteem that I used to leech off of him, and we’ve been spending some time together. Although I don’t NEED him, I still care about him and have fun with him. He seems to enjoy himself, too. I’ve dated other men, but I’m just happier around my ex. When we’re together, it’s just relaxed and fun. Now I’m wondering if perhaps we should give our relationship another chance. Do you think this healthy?

— Amy

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Oh, that’s a GREAT idea. I assume the prom theme is not “Self-Esteem.”