Ah, spring! Love in air, Mr. Softee around corner, lighter-weight cape on shopping list. Where would a gal like BG spend her super-cash? Why, right here, of course — which, shh, is the super-secret hideout for this. And which, in turn, could always use a few of your nickels and dimes. And so, BG is proud to promo:

THE PROM YOU WERE PROMISED

A Dance Party that Re-creates Prom Night the Way We All Hoped It Would Be

All to raise money for 826NYC

Who: You, and a date. (Date not required)

Dress code: Prom attire (Your old gown/tux/suit, or the jeans and sneakers you wished you’d worn.)

What: The prom night you’ve been waiting for.

When: Thursday, May 21, 2009, at 9 p.m.

Where: Music Hall of Williamsburg, 66 North 6th Street, Brooklyn

Why:

1) For the kids—all proceeds benefit 826NYC

2) For the music—three killer DJ sets, each of them worth the price of admission

3) For the replacement memories, made to last a lifetime

Tickets available from Ticketmaster, Master of Tickets.

Ah, middle school. The hellish crucible of hormones, homework, and heartache. (It’s not fun like high school, where everyone’s always bursting into song.) So here’s the book I wish I’d had stashed in my locker: Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook, The: Middle School (Worst Case Scenario Junior Editions) (co-written by FOBG Ben Winters). Sure coulda used it, say, at eighth-grade “prom,” when my zipper broke up with my dress shortly before my “date” broke up with me.

What about you? Any real-life middle school worst-case scenarios you care to share?

If only someone had managed to convince Shanta Dargbeh. Oh, dear.

Oh, that’s a GREAT idea. I assume the prom theme is not “Self-Esteem.”

Anyone above the age of 16 may not have noticed, but prom season is in full swing right now. Perhaps no place in the Land of Breakup is more fertile than prom, where so many relationships reach their denouement. So it shouldn’t be surprising that Rob Spillane has compiled a book of prom memoirs by various and assorted writers entitled The Time of My Life: Writers on the Heartbreak, Hormones, and Debauchery of the Prom. I haven’t read the book (yet!) but I must say that the cover — a random collage of prom-goers from the powder-blue-suited 70s up through the more modern vamp-goth ensembles of the zeros — totally made me do one of those huge did-she-just-walk-into-prom-wearing-THAT? double-takes.

Fortunately, those of you in New York City can hear these stories right from the folks who wrote them tonight at McNally Robinson (50 Prince Street, near Lafayette), at 7 PM. The free reading features writers Cintra Wilson, Walter Kirn and Mike Albo. If it weren’t for the fact that I have to work (darn bills keep demanding to be paid), I’d be there with shoes-dyed-to-match-my-dress on. Instead, I’ll task you all with going, then coming back here and reporting on it. Now go forth and boogie…under the tinfoil stars and giant heart made of balloons, of course.