Trying to readjust on March 2, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl,

My girlfriend of three years recently broke up with me. I don’t know what went wrong. She didn’t even tell me in person, but e-mailed me the breakup letter. I tried calling and telling her that we should talk about whatever it is that’s causing her to want to break up, but she avoids my phone calls. I e-mailed her asking her why and her reply was that her feelings for me were fading. But my question is: how can her feelings for me change so quickly? We always had fun together and I know she likes me and I like her. I’m just confused. And she also wants me to find someone else!?!?!? Why would I do that when I love her? Oh yes, her letters to me were … hmmm, how should I say this? — cold and without feeling. It was like another person was writing the letter and not her. What should I do now?

— Missing Her

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The “Predicament of the Week” from February 2, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl,

My wife and I have been married for six years. She rapidly became unaffectionate and irritated-seeming. We have had numerous “relationship talks” which take the form of “I know, I act cool toward you. I need time alone.” She is reading A Room of One’s Own. I try to give her space, but she seems to need a lot of space. I am a very low-maintenance type, but I would like to be touched, hugged good-night or told I am wanted at least weekly. She says she does not want to end the relationship, but I think I that’s because I am a good babysitter for her 13- and 17-year-olds, a good companion for going to the movies or Europe, and a good maintenance man for the house. She says we have a good “business” relationship; I want to feel appreciated. Should I cut my losses and look for someone who clearly loves me, or is distand friends a fair deal in this world?

— Norm!

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