Tonz of fun from January 19, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl,

My ex-girlfriend is driving me CrAzY!!! We only went out for two months over this past summer and it was really hard on her when we broke up. It wasn’t easy for me either, but it was tonz harder for her. The reason we broke up is that our friendship seemed to be disappearing, and neither of us wanted that to happen, so we agreed to just be friends.

Well, since we still really liked each other, it wasn’t that easy. She took me to the first Girl’s Choice dance of the year and we had lots of fun, but it led to a major problem. As I already said, we both still liked each other lotz, and we ended up kissing a few times through out the nite.

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Not much to add on January 19, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl,

Great site. I am now going down this road for the millionth time, having just ended a 9-month relationship which was rocky for about half of that time. The man is complex, emotionally damaged, controlling and an intense workaholic. At the same time, we had a lot in common, and had a bond that I have been looking for. He paid little attention to me, but at times we connected very deeply. He started out saying he wanted to make amends for the mistakes of the past (a pickup line I hadn’t heard before!) and that he had been wrong in the past. WOW! I thought I really had found “the one.”

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A friendly note from January 19, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl,
I am stuck in this oh-so-popular position: I have a million guy friends that are guys, but “friend” is all I am to them. I have dated a thousand guys, but all of them break things off saying that they do not see me as a girlfriend. The girls often do not like me either, as I am their boyfriend’s best friend. What should I do? I wish I could find someone to be serious with, but no one wants to be serious with “one of the guys.” HELP!!!!!!!!!!
— Just a Friend

Dear Just a Friend,
SEE, EVERYBODY??? Breakup Girl will say it again: the “nice”/”friend” thing is not only a Guy curse. And I’ll say this again, too: Could be that you’re the kind of person for whom serious relationships start out as friendships. Trust that that’s the case, and the “serious” part will evolve when the time — and the match — is right.
Love,
Breakup Girl

You’ve got a friend on January 9, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl,
For some reason, whenever I meet someone that I find cute and interesting, we always end up buddies when I would like more! How do I get past this and not feel rejected — and not lose a good friend?
— Everyone’s Buddy

Dear Everyone’s Buddy,
See, Jilted Guy?! This is the girl version of the Nice Guy thing — and yeah, it smarts. Wouldn’t it be nice, once in a while, to be intoxicatingly mysterious, to have men come up to you and say, “Friends, schmends, I must be your lover!” instead of “Hey, buddy, howaboutta game of horse?”

But try thinking of it this way: maybe there’s nothing wrong at all. Maybe, for some cosmic reason, you just happen to be the kind of person for whom serious relationships start out as — and develop most soundly from — friendship. If you trust that this will naturally evolve when it “should,” you’ll be playing a mean game of horse with your devoted hubby while Miss Tedious — I mean, Miss Terious — wishes she had more true friends.
Love,
Breakup Girl

Can this dynamic duo keep it professional?

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A weighty question from January 9, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl,
My ex was over moving my furniture the other night — I know it sounds crazy, but I swear it was just a favor — and this guy that I’ve been dating on and off for a month and half found out. This caused a situation so uncontrollable that I lost the guy I was starting to date. We were getting along so well… but now he says he “needs space.” I don’t understand — what should I do?
— Patricia

Dear Patricia,
First of all, I think moving heavy furniture is a very good thing for an ex to do. Second, I assume he wasn’t, say, moving his stuff into your apartment. Finally, if guy #2 “needs space,” why not send your ex over to move his furniture out?

If you really do have a just-movers relationship with your ex, then yeah, Dating Boy is probably overreacting — but I can also see why he might have been a little intimidated. Furniture-moving is not a delicate favor, but it is an intimate one. So give the skittish guy one clear, pressure-free phone call just to let him know that you see why that could have been weird, and that you’d be happy to see him again if and when he’d like to. And next time, do your own heavy lifting.

Love,
Breakup Girl