The Tacky Factor Day! Tackiness highlighted in blue…

Dear Breakup Girl,

When my boyfriend and I broke up, he said that we would always be friends and that for the rest of the school year he wouldn’t go out with anyone. We haven’t talked since — and now he is going out with one of my good friends! What should I do? I want to be friends with him, but he broke a promise.

— Kayleigh

Dear Kayleigh,

The following is to inform you that, pursuant to your inquiry, Breakup Girl has consulted with her attorney vis-a-vis enforceability of said “promise” (henceforth, “contract”). It appears that, generally speaking, contracts are voidable if deemed to be unconscionably one-sided or if one of the parties agreed to said contract under duress. Breakup Girl’s attorney has also stated that “stupid contracts are unenforceable.” All of which is to say, if I may translate this obfuscatory legalese, is that it was a dumb thing to promise — and to expect — to begin with. Hate to say it, but he was trying to be nice. His going out with your friend is tacky, at worst — but legal. Evaluate your potential friendship based on what he’s like now, not on some dotted line he shouldn’t have signed in the first place.

Love,
Breakup Gir