The Tacky Factor
Remember my rant about manners? Here — out of courtesy — I’ll spare you the trouble of clicking all the way back and just repeat I said: by “manners” I don’t mean complicated fork systems and all the other stilted stuff they do in “Titanic.” I mean bottom-line respect, graciousness, civility. See, Hillary Clinton consults Eleanor Roosevelt; Breakup Girl consults Miss Manners (who, she hastens to add, is very much alive and well). Although the popularity of yoga seems to have made New Yorkers a tad less snappish, I do agree with the magnificent Miss M. that the decline of polite, dignified, respectful behavior has contributed to the decline of society at large and of romantic relationships – as well as to the rise of ickiness in breakups. Reminds me of a passage from Patricia Wells’ divine book Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood. When the daughter complains to her mom that she “doesn’t know how to love,” her mom responds: “Good God, child! … Do you think any of us know how to love? … Do you think anybody would ever do anything if they waited until they knew how to love? … Forget love. Try good manners.”
Don’t take that “forget love” thing literally. Here’s the point: don’t ask yourself: “What bad behavior will love — or lack thereof — excuse right now?” Ask yourself: “What good manners make this whole mess a little easier for everyone right now?”
The instances of tackiness that appear below — highlighted in blue — speak for themselves: listen to them.
Oh, and you third-party bystanders/confidants are not exempt: just for the record, secretly tape-recording a lovelorn friend’s phone conversations and turning them over to a Washington attorney is tacky.