Under the influence on November 9, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl,

I haven’t had a boyfriend for 2 years ( I’m 16). Lately I have just been frustrated because every guy in high school seems to be so immature. And, I had pretty much given up on guys. Then this year at school I start talking to this one guy, he doesn’t come to my school but plays on the soccer team– and I’m on the volleyball team. We started talking, on the way to games, tournaments, etc. Anyway, a couple weeks ago I hear he likes me. And I realized a few days ago that I like him more than a friend also. He is such an awesome guy and he’s not stupid and immature like the other guys, he is 18. What I’m wondering is — am I just liking him because he likes me and I haven’t had a boyfriend for a while, or do I really like him? I’m so confused. Plus, I just don’t know about relationships, it seems like a waste of time because we are just gona go out, and either I will break up and hurt him, or he will break up w/me and I will be hurt. This is my problem I analyze every little thing and convince myself that there is no way I might actually just have fun in the relationship, I never see the good side. Please write back and help me, I am in serious need of some advice!!!

–Nicole

Dear Nicole,

There’s an expression called “beer goggles” that I will explain to you in the perhaps vain hope that sixteen-year-olds are unfamiliar with it. It’s about the non-wholesome notion that, well, anyone looks attractive after the checker-outer has had a few brewskis. But there’s also a much more wholesome corollary: Attention Goggles. Someone starts mackin’ on you, that boyski buzz kicks in, and all of a sudden you’re like, “I NEVER REALIZED WHAT AN INTERESTING PERSON HE IS.” Which is not to say that your feelings, or at least interest-sparkage, are invalid. Heck, he’s proving he has good taste. So quit wondering and worrying — and go with it. At least long enough for the goggles to come off. But everything else should stay on, young lady.

Love,
Breakup Girl