Totally territorial on November 2, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl,

Recently I got to know a wonderful American guy over the Internet. We spent a while exchanging erotic e-mails while his then new girlfriend was out of the country. (In our defence, he was very unsure about the relationship with his girlfriend at the time, and I was foolishly convinced he was falling as deeply in love with me as I was with him).

His girlfriend came back to the US and they began to get closer. Then, he came over to Ireland on a sales conference and he and I actually met. We got on wonderfully and I really thought this was “it.” Notwithstanding the immense sexual tension between us, we didn’t do anything. I was glad of this, because he would have been a lesser guy than I thought he was if he had cheated on his girlfriend.

We discussed how inappropriate the erotic e-mails had been, and decided to go back to being just friends.

Here’s my quibble: we met on a Website bulletin board, which his girfriend has recently taken to frequenting. Now, she can read whatever she wants on this site, but I hate seeing her write in. I can cope with her in the realm of the theoretical, but really don’t want to read all about how she and he met and fell in love. I feel that she is straying into my turf, and am becoming increasingly territorial about it. (I should, of course, just not read the posts, but the masochist in me finds it hard to do).

Am I crazy, or is it understandable to have”our” Website, the way others have “our” tune?

And more to the point, can I/should I do anything about it?

Yours,
Jealous in Ireland

Dear Jealous,

In this day and age, yes, I suppose, a couple can have “their” website. (But, all you happy couples, if “yours” involves John Gray, Dr. Laura, or “hot teens,” then please don’t share.)

But Breakup Girl hardly has to break new ground in cyberlaw in order to rule on your particular situation. Simple as this. You know that game Rock, Paper, Scissors, where Scissors beats Paper, etc.? Well. Sorry, but Actual Girlfriend beats Virtual Meeting Place of E-Lover. I get that you feel territorial, you have no actual claim. It is not your turf. So do nothing. I’m sure there are plenty of other sites that you and your inner masochist can make “yours.”

Love,
Breakup Girl