Waiting by the computer on September 28, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl,

Here’s my quandary– my boyfriend “Sardahki” and I were the best of friends, extremely close, saw each other for 7 months, and embarked on most of our emotional and sexual journeys together for the first time. Well, 3 months ago we broke up, for he was leaving for college. He said he’d email me when he got to school, which he did, and I responded. However, it’s been 3 weeks, and I’ve not heard from him. I don’t know that he got the letter because things happen and perhaps it got deleted, or something. (Besides, it was kind of hardcore, so I expected SOME kind of a response…). So, my question: Do I resend the email, assuming he never got it? Or, assume that he got it and didn’t care to respond? and if I do send it and he has already read it, what do I say, because that could be potentially humiliating. Any input would be helpful.

–Nahmi

Dear Nahmi,

As bad as it is to break up with someone via email, it’s worse to break up with someone via not answering their email. I know you guys were already broken up; I’m just saying. Nahmi, I have to tell you that I have a feeling he did get your mail. He wasn’t sure how to respond to something “hardcore” given that you guys had broken up, and on top of it all, he’s distracted and consumed by starting college. Then, the longer he goes without writing you back, the more he employs that twisted human logic, “Well, it’s been so long now, I can’t write her back…” So, big big big OUCH. I suggest that you send hin one more light email, saying, “Hey, hadn’t heard from you, wondering how you are.” That kind of thing. Give him a chance to catch up. And if he doesn’t — or even if he does — give yourself a chance to move on.

Love,
Breakup Girl