Dear Breakup Girl,

Eight weeks ago I wrote you a letter regarding my recent breakup with a wonderful guy. I was feeling guilty because I broke up with him for financial reasons. I’m a single mom and was going broke (half) supporting my ex. When I tried to submit the letter, it wouldn’t go. As I was trying the 2nd time, the phone rang. Yep, it was him. He said he’d been working the last 6 months to get in better financial shape for our future. He was so sincere, and had made so many changes, that I went back to him. Now we share the bills equally, and are getting ahead already. We are engaged to be married, and I wonder if it had to do with the letter that never got sent. Well, thanks anyway.

— Not Guilty Anymore

Dear NGA,

1. Who-HOOO! Congratulations.

2. All other second-timer wannabes: heads up! Don’t just tell your re-intended that you’ve changed — or, worse, that you will. Hint: proof helps. This gentleman may still lapse back into [in this case, financial] problems here and there, but he demonstrated a clear willingness to acknowledge and take them on. That’s the difference.

3. You guys should still actually send your letters.

Love,
Breakup Girl

This advice was originally published September 14, 1998.