Dear Breakup Girl,

Help. I have acquired an extraordinarily complicated personal life.

Two months ago, it was like a Frank Lloyd Wright structure, all clean lines and good sense. Then my bf of six months broke up with me for another girl he had known for preCISEly forty-eight hours (no standing in the way of true love, I guess). We were determined to stay friends. It was a difficult break-up for both of us; we cried a lot, I was upset and mad and he was just … in love.

The friend thing quickly fell apart because his new gf goes rabid at the thought of me, and because now that I was no longer the primary female in his life, this previously conscientious, thoughtful and sweet man started being none of the above. I won’t get into specifics, but he started demonstrating aspects to his personality I would have been much happier never to have seen.

This really scared me. Before: Cool guy. After: Hyde. Who knew?

Now it seems that the planets have realigned and every man I ever knew before him has reasserted himself in my life in their single states. The ex love of my life who lives far away is going to be in town for a month. The guy I lived with in university and who lives even farther away is in the country for two months. The guy I had a huge crush on at my first job and who had a girlfriend is now single and making it clear that he’s interested. A guy who I would have dated had I not met Hyde who then started dating one of my friends called me the minute he found out about the breakup and said (I quote) –“It’s not serious between us. She knows that. So do you want to go out for dinner some time?” Then there’s this sweet boy who lives far away who keeps asking me to come and visit …

BG, I don’t know WHAT to do. What is going on?? I don’t think I’m even fully over this Hyde thing yet. Almost, but I still feel my teeth sharpen every time I think of him and his new girl. I want to send her emails telling him what he’s REALLY like. I also want to strenuously resist this urge. I don’t know what to do about all these boys. I know this is probably an embarrassment of riches, but … ??? Thanks for any help you can offer. This situation will probably only come along once in a lifetime and I’d love some help navigating through it. Do I play the field and see what happens, figure out if I’m Really over it, or decide which one I want, if any? And how do I do this? Part of me is terrified that Hyde syndrome is epidemic and that I should avoid the whole thing; part of me says Give it another shot, part of me says Enjoy this and have a great time and get out. What do you think?

— Rachael

Dear Rachael,

Resist the revenge; embrace the … embarrassment.

Love,
Breakup Girl

This advice was originally published September 14, 1998.