No boyfriend, no cry, on September 7, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl,

I’m 17 and my boyfriend of almost four months just broke up with me. The problem is, I am not very upset. I cried for about two days, but now I feel fine. I loved him and everything, but I thought I would be more upset. Is this weird?

— Sandy

Dear Sandy,

By plugging these numbers into Breakup Girl’s Supercomputer, I confirmed that 2 days is the exact right amount of time for a 17 year old to cry over a 4-month relationship. You, wisely, did the purgefest that Frantic skipped. Well done. You’re totally fine.

Love,
Breakup Girl