Back to basics on August 31, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl,

I am 17 years old, and have NEVER had a girlfriend. I am attracted to women and all, but have never had a girlfriend. I’ve liked many girls. It may be because I am shy when it comes to women, I just don’t know. So, is this abnormal? What can I do about it?

— Mike

Dear Mike,

BG needs to know more about your technique. If any. You say you’ve liked many girls … but is BG the only girl who knows that? Look, if you’ve been too “shy” to talk to them at all, you could not be more “normal.” (Also, single.) Just listen to what the supercute Everyguys who wrote What Men Want have to say: “When men feel that spark of attraction, we become excited and nervous. … It is the woman we really want to meet who makes us tongue-tied. We erect a barrier of fear and desire that may become difficult to break through. As soon as the spark is lit, our confidence tends to plummet, we lose our rap, and we become fearful, fumbling idiots.” So now do you feel normal? (Also, hopeless?)

Listen, Mike, if walking up to a complete stranger and saying “Where do you been here all my life often?” is not your style, so be it. It’s just as well. So try to meet and hang out with people in situations where you already have a surer foothold, a more comfortable context. Thing is, though, when you LIKE-like someone; you’re gonna feel shy. It’s part of the tingle. (Also, terror.) But take heart, not flight: we actually think it’s pretty cute.

Love,
Breakup Girl