College bound on August 17, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl,

I am sixteen going on seventeen, and my only experience, really, with relationships, was an LDR that sorta faded away (he stopped emailing) until I realized (after 4 months!), with help from my best friend (an Angel!) that I needed closure, so I ended it. Then this summer I was going out with a guy (all of this is secret, of course, since my parents forbid even THINKING of guys That Way) who was perfect to me. Problem is, we’re heading off to different colleges. He broke up with me, kinda for that reason, and that’s cool. I felt REALLY bad for a few days, then sorta bad for two weeks, and now I’m kinda okay again. We became really close friends over the summer, and he — and I — would like to keep in contact after we head to college. You know, email, etc. He is special to me, as a friend, now (I realize the magic is gone now, Relationship-wise). He was my first a lot of stuff, from first REAL kiss (tongue) to … well, there’s a French word, demivierge. Most of it was a first for both of us. And I have no regrets. Is it impossible to really keep that kind of friendship going? I’m afraid it’ll be like the last time I tried to keep in contact with someone (LDR boy) — the gradual drifting away. Is that inevitable, or just my experience…? I’d appreciate a response.

— Better

Dear Better,

Demivierge? Hmm. Something about Bruce Willis, pre-Moore? BG, innocently enough, is a little stumped on that one. (Breakup Mom, are you relieved — or realizing that you omitted a few details in “the talk?”)

This, however, I do know: no, it is not impossible to keep this kind of friendship going. But yes, it is hard. And yes, some drift and shift is inevitable as you launch yourselves into separate lives. It seems, though, that you guys have a nice thing going — especially if you were able to survive the wear and tear of having to skulk around dodging the Parental Thought Police. So give it a whirl, but remember this, corny as it’s going to sound: even if you guys don’t always maintain an active correspondence, he will always be the guy who gave you kiss #1 and to whom you, um, lost half your virginity (?). And those are firsts that — in time/memory, if not in e-mail — last.

Love,
Breakup Girl