Dear Breakup Girl,

I recently met this really hot guy. We hit it off right away, flirting left and right. He came over a few times, and we made out. He’s a few years older than me, so right off the bat I told him I am not going to have sex with him, and I’m not. He said okay, and we are still “proceeding” with the “relationship.” It seems that I always call him to come over, and he only calls when I tell him to. Is he just in it for one thing, to get as far as he can? He kinda has a reputation as being a player. Should I still proceed, knowing that he probably just wants one thing? Does he, or is he changing? I know he’ll never pressure me for sex, and he’ll respect my decisions about how far we go. What do we do? HELP!!!!!!!!

— Confused

Dear Confused,

If he were “changing,” he’d be calling you and taking you out on actual “dates.” Also, you wouldn’t be putting “quotes” around words like “relationship.”

Love,
Breakup Girl

This advice was originally published on August 3, 1998.