Going with the flow on June 29, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl,

How would you advise someone who simply would sacrifice his own happiness for that of another? I am about to enter into a long and rather binding committment to a beautiful, loving, wonderful woman. Problem is, I’m not certain if this relationship is exactly what I want…but it certainly is what she desires.

I cannot stand the thought of ever causing this woman pain, and as a result, will likely end up sooner or later in this committment.

Any advice?

Signed,
Wishing I Could Be Less Wishy Washy

Dear Wishing/Wishy/Washy,

Um, are you talking about GETTING MARRIED? Because if you can’t say it — type it, even — in the privacy of your own computer to a superhero who has no clue who you are, then I hesitate to send you off to pronounce your vows in front of three hundred of your closest friends and an agent of the Lord.

And even more to the point, here’s an Important Breakup Girl Maxim: No mercy marriages! Your heart is in the right place, but your brain is not. Look again at the logic of your fourth sentence. Now let me spell things out for you:The acute sting and ache you will cause by leaving her is much less than the chronic pain you will cause her by staying with her against your will.

So, WWW, if you do decide to leave, write me back if you like — it does sound like it might be a doozy — and I’ll be glad to help you out. You might want to practice using the word BREAKUP in the letter.

Love,
Breakup Girl