Misunderstood on June 1, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl,

I am 17 and a junior in high school. I was going out for two months with this guy named James, but how we ended up breaking up was really strange. I called him one night to ask what was wrong and he misunderstood me and thought I was trying to break up with him (don’t ask me how he got it mixed up). Anyway, when our band class went to Florida for a trip, one of my best friends hooked James up with a freshman. Everyone told me that he didn’t really like this girl (who we’ll just call Penny). But that was a month ago, and I never see the two of them together, and I actually don’t know if they were ever really going out. Anyway, prom is coming up and I really want to ask him. His best friend told me that James does not really want to spend the money to go to big dances like prom. I was going to ask him, but he and I do not talk as much as we used to. We both went our separate ways, and we don’t even say a simple “hi” to each other in the halls. But I can’t stop thinking about him and want to get back together with him. So what should I do? Should I ask him to prom, and how? How can I get back together with him? How can I start talking to him again? Please help!

— Abigail

Dear Abigail,

Let’s keep prom (and “Penny”) out of this. If you do get back together with James, it will be because you go up to him and say, “Hey, can I talk to you for a minute? Listen, I think our breakup happened for really lame and pointless reasons and I was wondering if you’d consider trying again. If you need a day or two to think about it, or if you want to talk about it more that’s fine. And if you’re not interested then I’ll understand. But it was important to me at least to ask you.” (Note: if he’s not interested, you probably won’t understand; but trust me, it’s just one of those things you gotta say.) If he is interested, then you can start talking corsages and cumberbunds.

Point is, if you do get back together with James, it will not be because out of nowhere you drop the big scary Prom Bomb and invite him to the kind of really Meaningful event that — according to all sources — he’s not even into. Do consider the role of the “best friend” — either he is dutifully delivering an accurate, preemptive “Trust me, don’t ask James to prom” message, or he is up to some mischief, i.e. “Don’t ask James to prom because I’ve got my eye on you.” Just a thought.

Love,
Breakup Girl