Eternal questions from May 25, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl,

My “boyfriend.” who is/was 32, whereas I am 44, has essentially broken up with me. I, however, find that subsequently, his attractiveness and desirability are increasing exponentially with his condescending and sarcastic behavior. How sick am I? How can I get well?

–Catherine

Dear Catherine,

How many cliches do you want? The grass is always greener, you want what you can’t have, yadda, yadda, yadda. Or, to give it a more highfalutin psychological spin, it’s all about avoiding cognitive dissonance: the more Gingrichian his disposition, the more firmly and desperately you cling — at least in your imagination/memory — to days gone by, when he actually was attractive and desirable. No matter what, it’s a normal breakup response, not a symptom of illness. The secret to “getting well,” such as it is, is to not act on these seemingly sick feelings. Take a chill and call me — not him! — in the morning.

Love,
Breakup Girl