Dancing around the subject on December 29 1997…

Dear Breakup Girl,

I was dating this guy for a few months and ended up moving to the city where he lived (no, he was not the reason I moved). When I moved in he asked me to a holiday formal. I knew it wasn’t a serious relationship and I knew we were both allowed to see other people, but he got involved with someone else and decided he wanted to be only with her. So instead of breaking it off before the formal, he took me. I didn’t know any of this and assumed we were going as a couple, but at the end of the night he broke it off. I wasn’t really mad about that — I was furious that he felt me the need to take me the formal where all of friends knew he was involved with someone else. Am I crazy to think this was wrong and childish?

— Angela

Dear Angela,

You’re not crazy; you’re embarrassed. His friends all knew; you were clueless. That smarts. However — while you may or may not agree with his reasoning — I am pretty sure that this Formal Boy thought he was doing the right thing by not negging on his invitation. He said he would take you; he took you. He didn’t want to make the vibe all weird by telling you about his new squeeze beforehand, so he told you afterwards. More than wrong and childish, I think, it was black-and-white logic at work. Let it go.

Speaking of black-and-white, as in black tie and tuxedo shirt, Breakup Girl — lest you think she sounds unsympathetic — got dumped at the party after her junior prom. And now that she thinks about it, every boy she ever went with to a prom or formal (high school and college) is now married. Oh, and at least 50% have children. I do the math.

Love,
Breakup Girl�