Drawing it out on March 30, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl,

For the duration of our nine-month relationship, my ex tried to convince me that we were “meant to be.” Without warning or reason, he then dumps me citing the “I love you but am not ‘in love’ with you” excuse. Whatever. Aside from one business like letter he sent a week post break up (and an angry follow up phone call on my part), we have not spoken since and it’s been six months. I am over him and the break up was definitely for the best, but I wonder now if this was the most healthy way to handle things. Although the lack of contact helped the healing process, would it have been better to have long, painful phone conversations analyzing what went wrong just so I have a clue? Do you advocate the “cold turkey”/no contact approach even in the absence of a concrete breakup explanation?

— B.

Dear B.,

A “long, painful phone conversation” does not a “concrete breakup explanation” make. Trust me, you didn’t miss much.

Love,
Breakup Girl