e-mail to a friend in needHome for the Holidays
In honor of those going home for the holidays and taking a friend we re-present BG’s New Adventure featuring BAD BOY! When this story was originally scripted in December 2000, the hijinks ensued over a holiday meal; When it was retooled last year for Lifetime Mobile, the story was shortened to five pages and the holiday angle was taken out so it would be readable at any time of year. Today we link to the finished story, AND for the first time anywhere I am sharing one of my original Breakup Girl scripts (below). Happy Thanksgiving!
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -Â PAGE ONE - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - NARRATION: "WHILE RETURNING HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS, BREAKUP GIRL FINDS A NOTORIOUS LOVE-CRIMINAL IN HER OWN HOMETOWN!" BREAKUP GIRL is confronting a couple in the woman's apartment. The woman stands in front of the guy, protectively. WOMAN I know about the robbery, the drugs, the lies. But I love him anyway! BREAKUP GIRL I'm not here to arrest HIM for his crimes. I'm here to rescue YOU from a relationship that will only end in despair. WOMAN He's just misunderstood ... I can change him! BREAKUP GIRL Girlfriend, he's got a rap sheet 40 women long! WOMAN Breakup Girl, you're going to have to go through ME to get him! Finally the man speaks... BADBOY Sorry, Breakup Girl! No woman can resist ... "BADBOY!" (title) - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - PAGE TWO - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - BREAKUP GIRL is now flying over boston, carrying BAD-BOY by the collar. Did I mention BADBOY has a pet SNAKE wrapped around him? BREAKUP GIRL Too bad for you, I never understood the appeal of "bad boys." BADBOY Never? BREAKUP GIRL I'm telling my mom I'll be late for dinner, then I'm running you in! BADBOY No rush! NARRATION: "SOON:" BREAKUP GIRL is on the porch of her parents' home, BADBOY in tow. BREAKUP MOM is just inside the doorway. BREAKUP GIRL Mom, hi. I -- BREAKUP MOM Lynn! I didn't know you were bringing a FRIEND! BREAKUP GIRL What!? Oh, he's not my FRIEND... BREAKUP MOM Well, you know what I MEAN, dear. BREAKUP DAD (peeking his head out the door) Thank GOD! You've made your mother VERY happy! BREAKUP GIRL No. This is Badboy. He's a super villain. BREAKUP MOM Well, NONE of us can afford to be picky at YOUR age. BREAKUP DAD (turning to go) Maybe now I'll get some peace. [beat] BADBOY (arms outstretched) Breakup Mom! Breakup Dad! BG's told me ALL about you! Everyone goes inside, leaving BREAKUP GIRL on the porch. BREAKUP GIRL (thinking, to us) I suppose jail COULD wait a few hours. There's only one thing more important than bringing a criminal to justice -- getting my folks off my back! - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - PAGE THREE - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Everyone is sitting in the living room. BREAKUP MOM Lynn has told us NOTHING about you ... BADBOY So she didn't tell you I had my tongue surgically forked? BREAKUP DAD Forked? BADBOY (sticking out tongue) Thee? BREAKUP GIRL (playing it down) Heh, heh. It's the new piercing, really. BREAKUP DAD Forking? BADBOY I like snakes. BREAKUP MOM My, that's so ... reptillian. BADBOY I want to BE a snake. (His SNAKE smiles) BREAKUP GIRL Actually, I've been thinking of having mine done. BREAKUP MOM (getting up to go) Well, wash up and come to dinner. BREAKUP DAD (also leaving; to BREAKUP MOM) I like him better than that trustafarian. BREAKUP GIRL Wow. I had no idea how desperate my folks were to have me dating. BADBOY (getting up) Maybe as long as you're happy, they're satisfied. BREAKUP GIRL Watches Bad Boy as he walks toward the kitchen. BREAKUP GIRL (thinking) Not too bad, Bad Boy. ... Hmm. Maybe I can change him. [beat] BREAKUP GIRL (thinking again) Wait. What am I THINKING?? - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - PAGE FOUR - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 4-PANEL DINNER MONTAGE. Throughout, BREAKUP GIRL looks stressed, but her parents only smile. We see... BADBOY carving turkey with a switchblade. BADBOY drinking from the wine bottle. BADBOY's snake, smiling, with a turkey-shape inside him. BADBOY biting the heads off gingerbread men, leaving the bodies. NARRATION: "AND AFTER DINNER, THE FAMILY TAKES IT'S TRADITIONAL STROLL..." BREAKUP MOM and DAD walk ahead of the younger "couple." It is dusk. BREAKUP GIRL I thought if you spent the day with my folks you'd be begging me to take you to the slammer. BADBOY I like your folks. Most parents are shocked when their daughter brings me home. BREAKUP GIRL You're a breathing male. They LOVE you. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - PAGE FIVE - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - BADBOY It's nice to be accepted once in a while. I forgot what that was like. I used to be a Nice Guy, y'know. Didn't get me anything but a perpetually wet shoulder -- Girl FRIENDS crying about some wrong-side-of-town jerkwad. BREAKUP GIRL So you became an a-hole? BADBOY No, that's something different. NO ONE likes an a-hole -- except maybe some women with low self esteem. No, I just needed to develop an "edge" -- a little danger. There's no aphrodesiac like rebellion! Then you wake up one day, and it's no longer an act. You enjoy the crime, the women who want to take care of you... BREAKUP GIRL ...the snake... BADBOY But it's lonely, too. Women who date me certainly aren't looking for commitment. They're looking for a challenge. [beat] They look at eachother. BREAKUP GIRL Lonely, huh? And this story actually WORKS on women? BADBOY No, no. Not this story. I USUALLY just tell them about my "bad childhood." - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - PAGE SIX - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - BREAKUP GIRL and BADBOY are in the kitchen. BADBOY is wearing an apron. NARRATION: "LATER..." BREAKUP GIRL Wow. Nice job with all those dishes. BADBOY Breakup Girl, admit it, you don't really want to run me in. [beat] BREAKUP GIRL sizes him up. Then BREAKUP GIRL takes BADBOY by the collar and shakes him. Silverware flys out all over. BADBOY (quickly) Hey, I was drying those! BREAKUP GIRL Inside your coat? BADBOY It's warm! BREAKUP GIRL (looking at the floor, pointing) Busted! We didn't even USE the good stuff. CUT TO: The living room, through which BREAKUP GIRL rushes BADBOY out of the house. She makes it look like her firm grasp of BADBOY is just a warm hug. BREAKUP GIRL (cheery) Mom, Dad, we gotta be going! But I'll come by tomorrow! BADBOY Urk! Bye Mom and Dad! BREAKUP MOM Bye Melvin! BREAKUP DAD Bye son! Then outside on the porch... BADBOY I figure you OWE me, Breakup Girl... BREAKUP GIRL You think I'm so greatful I won't run you in? BADBOY No, no. You can run me in ... (sheepishly) But couldn't you come with me to MY parents' house first? FIN.
